


Behind Blue Eyes

by Tomed



Category: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014), Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Movies), War of the Planet of the Apes (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bigotry & Prejudice, Captivity, Chronic Pain, Dark Past, Depression, Drama & Romance, Eating Disorders, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Feels, Flashbacks, Gay Male Character, Guilt, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Loneliness, Loss, M/M, Medical Conditions, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Slavery, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-04 22:26:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomed/pseuds/Tomed
Summary: A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. And if said link decides to take action, the whole chain is at a loss... Well, the Colonel should've killed Alex the moment he found out that he was the offspring of that dangerous hippie that almost swayed his people. God, he really should've just killed that boy...





	1. Chapter 1

_No one knows what it's like_

_To be the bad man_

_To be the sad man_

_Behind blue eyes_  
 

_But my dreams they aren't as empty_

_As my conscience seems to be_

_I have hours, only lonely_

_My love is vengeance_

_That's never free_

 

[Limp Bizkit- Behind Blue Eyes]

 

A loud noise. So many soldiers. Alex heard delighted laughter and joyful cries, while his grip around his bag got tighter. He tried to put some distance between himself and the sheering people on the street. This was wrong. So wrong.

His stomach ached. Those soldiers will destroy Caesar and all those nice apes for sure. He blinked, feeling so helpless. His father was still with the apes at the gate, wasn’t he? Ellie got over to him, wearing the same worried expression, hugging him a little bit too tight.

His vision blurred. Everything stilled. And then the scenario changed quickly. He stood right in the middle of a gathering of the whole damn city. He hated crowded masses, always felt like he couldn’t breathe properly… Ellie and Malcolm were with the man that seemed to be in charge of the soldiers.

Alex saw how desperately his father tried to convince the foreigner, the Colonel, to _talk_ with Caesar. To be diplomatic. Those apes aren’t a danger. They are nice and just wished to live in peace. Well, most of them but that was a problem they all faced. There were always some jerks.

Alex frowned. Something was odd. The man his father talked to put his hand onto his gun, slowly, almost not recognizable. “No!” He started running, shoving people aside. He had to reach his father! He had to! He was barely 20 feet away, could see his father sighting him and raising his hand, probably to tell Alex to stay away -and then the foreigner lifted his gun within a second and shot, the sound piercing through the neighborhood.

Alex watched in horror as his father’s eyes went wide in shock while falling to the ground with an almost gentle thud. His eyes got lifeless even while falling. Alex couldn’t contain his inner conflict of emotions, not able to act on any of those. He could just stand there and watch in agony how a small trail of blood runs out of the tiny hole right between his father’s eyes.

Ellie’s scream pierced through the hollowed noises, a gruesome sound that shook his very soul. The soldiers restrained her, wearing indifferent masks as faces. She struggled, screamed some more. Shouts his father’s name in agony. But Alex just stood there while everything around him falls to pieces like shattering glass.

 

With a choked breath Alex sat straight. His ears still ringing from the vivid memory he relived almost every time he closed his eyes. Blinking rapidly he took his surroundings in. It was slightly dark, but he still saw a soldier patrolling just outside of his little sleeping place. He shivered. It was not safe here. It never had been. But now it was more dangerous than ever. He never slept more than a few couple of hours. He couldn’t. Those military people were unpredictable, well, at least their leader was.

The Colonel kept a close eye on Alexander, always watching him. He most certainly knew that Malcolm, the man he had shot in cold blood, was his father. Together with the fact that the teen strongly disliked violence and wished for peace, well, let’s just say that it was a dangerous combination... The only reason Alex was still alive seemed to be because he was quiet in nature and had no connections to anyone in the colony or in general. He had no friends, no other family members. He was alone.

The loss hurt and rage still burned inside him whenever he heard or saw the Colonel. Over the months Alex has begun to manipulate some of the operations the Colonel and his men did to conquer the woods. And the teenager was becoming good at it, he had always been good at being invisible, no one payed enough attention for the introvert boy. But it was just a matter of time until the Colonel will catch up.

With a cold shiver down his spine he heard more footsteps than usual outside. He stood up, carefully, so he would not make any noises and startle the guard that was patrolling his corridor. He did not wish to be shot by accident like that man had been back in their first week with the military for just taking a piss...

Alex didn’t really care if he died though. He wondered how he managed to survive these 14 month to begin with. Checking if his bag was still there (he almost never put it down to begin wit) he went outside as silently as possible hearing someone shouting commands in the distance. His work here was unnerving.

Sometimes he had to repair some cables. Other times he helped with the communication systems. Or polishing their guns. Whatever those military came up with. At least they did not try to recruit him for their "holy war" against the innocent apes.

With alarm he registered two soldiers going to the gate, talking about “king kong”, a code name for Caesar he believed. They used this code since a few days, those two were in their full equipment and belonged to the inner circle around the Colonel. He tried to follow them undetected, but he knew he would be found eventually. They were the special task force for a reason. But maybe it helped that they felt safe here in their basement, because he remained undisturbed for the entire way to the gate.

They exchanged some words, the Colonel himself was in his gear, with weapons on his sides. This could only mean that they believed to have found the apes’ new sanctuary. They were in danger!

The small group went into the woods. No helicopters. Those were too loud for a silent surprise attack… Gulping Alex started following them even though he had no idea what he should do. He was no warrior. He couldn’t even strike his targets with a gun, he always misses. His father had tried to teach him self defense and the cans he was supposed to hit stood most certainly still on their spots… It was pathetic.

Sighing he realized that they were trekking really deep into the woods. There were quite a lot times he was almost sure he was found. He made no noises that alarmed them, at least sneaking was something he was decent enough. There were a few ape guards, but they were always killed before they could make any loud noises. It was frightening how efficient this special force really was. They never went on those operations in the past, the Colonel must've hold them back for the moment he found his real target. Caesar.

Their trek was really back-breaking. They climbed quite a lot, the ground was rough to say the least. Especially because they followed the river back to the top where a big, beautiful waterfall was. They went to the side of the waterfall, almost entirely around the rock and started climbing up with their equipment. Now it was in the middle of the night for sure. Most of the apes would sleep by now. They had no idea what was coming. Alex frowned. He had no chance of following them. Well, he had. But without the same equipment it would be way too dangerous. He sighed. This here was a suicide mission for him the moment he had decided to follow them. It was stupid and he was a fool for thinking he could make a difference.

“Fortune favors fools… Well, let’s hope that’s true...”

Smiling cynically he began his climb. At least he'd climbed a bit as a child. His time adventuring the many broken buildings had to be good for something...

At the top of that damned rock he looked back with awe. Never before had he risked something like that. He had promised it his father. With pain he closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the memory.

“ _Promise me!”_

_His father held him tight. Looking at him like he was the most precious being in the world._

“ _Promise me you’ll never do something that stupid again!”_

“ _But, mother was still inside! I had to help her, and I couldn't-”_

“ _Alex, no. She was sick. You know she was dying. You’ve seen what happened to the Millers… You could’ve done nothing to rescue her. Don’t you risk your life again anytime soon! ....What would I do if I lose you too?”_

_His father cried now too and dragged him closer, pressing him against his chest. Alex nudged his chin against the broad shoulder, now the pain was kicking in. The hug hurt. Everything hurt. He couldn’t use his hands. He couldn’t feel his arms. He smelled his burned flesh._

_His eyes closed themselves, he couldn’t open them again. Tired… So tired..._

Alex blinked. It was almost 10 years ago that his mother got sick and those maniacs of bandits set their house on fire. He had been inside of his tree-house and as soon as he was awake and saw his home already burning like a campfire he lost it. Somehow he had managed to climb from a chunk over to the kitchen window. Thick black smoke had been everywhere. He still felt the scratchy sensation, the urge to cough whenever he thought back. He had tried with all his might to push the door to his parents bedroom open, heard his mother coughing inside. Knew that she needed her tissue again to wipe the blood from her mouth. But the wooden door had been already in flames and every time he tried to push it, pain exploded in his hands.

The balk that fell while he effortlessly tried to get to his mother hit him hard, the cracking and screeching of the house almost felt like their home was alive, as if it was moaning in pain. It frightened him back then. Enough so that he panicked. He heard his father screaming his name, but how he managed to crawl out of this burning mess was just a confusing blurr of a memory. There was just smoke and pain, the smell of his own burned flesh and his feeling of completely and utterly helplessness.

The next thing he remembered from that time were those words from his father. His strong arms holding him. And their home burning to ashes right behind them…

“...Sorry, dad.”

He already broke his promise some time ago, maybe the moment he decided to try and work against the Colonel. With a grim face he looked around again, trying to figure out where the group went. On the other end of the rock he saw their equipment. It wasn’t hard to understand the use of those hanging cables. The apes must’ve their home behind that waterfall right underneath him. And that’s the reason for this shitty trekking adventure around that big rock. He heard helicopters in the distance, they were probably prepared to take them back the moment the mission was completed.

Unsure of how to proceed he hold onto one of those slick cables. Sighing he sat on the edge of the rock and hung himself on it. He was slipping the moment his full weight was used. Cursing silently he glided unceremoniously down. He saw the man right under him, but he couldn’t stop, his hands were already a pain in the ass. So he landed right on top of the soldier with a loud thud.

With a pained sound he regained his senses quickly. The soldier was right under him and his weapon just a few feet away from them. But Alex was shoved away before he could even try to reach it. With horror Alex realized on which being he fell. The angry grimace of the middle aged man would definitely haunt him in his future dreams. If he lived that long...

“You!”

Alex stood up. The Colonel pointed his gun right at him.

“You were it all along, weren’t you?? Disrupting my operations with those stupid little pranks! I should’ve killed you the moment I found out that you are the brat of that man!”

30 feet away was another soldier sneaking around, but the Colonel's outburst startled the man and that was used by an ape. He was jumping at the soldiers back, punching him until he was not moving any more. The Colonel of course heard the struggle, too, and turned around with his gun.

-"Watch out!"

Alex warned the ape just in time so he could jump to the side behind some piles, but he still let out a pained moan, a grazing shot -or so it seemed from afar. Hopefully nothing vital was damaged... Alex tried to examine the ape from his own cover (some wooden pickets) and realized with shock that it was Caesar’s family, his wife and his two children - and his older son was the one that got hurt. _Shit_. Where the hell was Caesar? He was needed here, right now! Alex was no match for that man! He couldn’t even buy any more time for them, the Colonel just wanted him dead. He was not interested in talking. Not that Alex had any other option to begin with...

“My father told you that these apes are friendly! Why do you still want to murder them?”

He shifted slightly, the Colonel was about to reach him from his right side. But at least Alex was the target for now, not the defenseless mother with her two sons. He eyed behind the Colonel. They tried to reach the tunnel. They just needed more time and definitely more talking, so they won't be heard that easily.

“There are times when it is necessary to abandon our humanity to save humanity. But I don’t expect a child to understand that.”

While he was talking Alex watched as the mother and the young one disappeared into the dark tunnel while the older one stood there, looking at Alex, hesitating. What was he doing?? Alex hurriedly looked back at the Colonel, afraid that if he watched for too long the Colonel would get his pitiful attempt to deflect his attention.

“I- I know why you do these things!”

“You do?”

His voice was full of mockery. But Alex didn’t care, getting a little more confident while speaking.

“Yes. I am the one you called for repairing the communication systems after all. And I read your correspondence. I know of the virus. How it mutated. I know what it does… What it did to your son -and that you-”

A yell of fury that was hardly recognizable as human echoed through the cave as the Colonel attacked him with pure force, knocking them both over. Alex hit the ground hard, his head felt like it had cracked open with a sickening sound and his eyes watered while pain washed over his consciousness in waves. The same moment the Colonel started pinning him to the ground and punching him in sheer rage the man was shoved off of him from behind. Some shots fell after that, it was hard to tell where they hit while dots of light were disturbing his vision...

Alex tried to get up, but everything blurred and the sudden movement made him feel like the whole place was spinning, which was not possible. The dots of light still danced before him, his stomach ached. He gulped, feeling like he would puke any second. The ape and the Colonel were fighting for the weapon, Alex registered that it got way too dangerous for the young ape, because hell, Alex knew best that the Colonel had more than one weapon on him. Kicking the Colonel's leg with all the strength he had left, he gave his unexpected aid the opportunity to avoid the next shots to jump behind some rock further away.

“You little fuck!”

The Colonel went towards Alex once again and more than just furious, but he was interrupted by his radio.

"Lima four to command. Colonel, did you..."

The voice stopped with a grunt. Many shots fell. Then silence. The Colonel groaned displeased. Heavy footsteps made them all look up, there he came. Running on all fours, every step full of anxiety. Then he stood upright, eyeing the Colonel. Alex exhaled in relief. It was Caesar! The Colonel turned away from the teen to confront the new opponent that stood there breathing heavily. Alex had his trouble robbing away on his back.

The Colonel shot immediately at Caesar while the ape tried to reach him. There were more apes about to come, their agitated hoots echoed through the passages. The Colonel looked over to Alex’ lying figure, then to Caesar that hid behind a rock. His son was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he went after his mother? He hoped so... The Colonel was within reach of his cable and Alex knew that the man would retreat. He was a brutal maniac but he was not stupid. He was no match against so many apes.

Alex smiled. His ambition to hide long gone. He had no strength left. Somehow he had that wall in mind, back at the old home of the apes. "APES TOGETHER STRONG" Indeed. They were. But that truth did not prevent the Colonel from shooting aimlessly at Caesar while retreating. A short sound of the mechanism of his cable clicking in and it pulled the man up. He disappeared as fast as he came.

And the moment the man was gone Alex felt the full weight of his heavy body. Blinking exhausted he realized a careful approach from the side. His sight was blurring, he blinked even more but it did not help. There was a face. A bit fur. Blue eyes. Like his own. Just brighter... His head was too heavy. His gaze sunk to a bloodied shoulder. Some old scars. Hands... His eyes closed. He was too exhausted. Everything hurt. And he succeeded, didn't he?

Agitated hoots and some aspirated words lulled him into his unconsciousness. The last thing he felt was warmth.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex woke with a startled breath. His head immediately felt like it would explode. He opened his eyes a bit. Everything around him was unfamiliar. There was a friendly face looking at him calmly. Laying a hand on his shoulder. He looked down on himself.

His throat was scratchy, he needed water. But there was something missing… His bag! Where was it? Fortunately she seemed to be good at reading others, or she just guessed right, either so she hold his bag towards him.

“...Thanks.”, he managed to croak.

He started searching for his little box immediately, containing all his medication so far -which wasn’t as much as he would like to have. His supply was almost gone... He took a pill immediately. It hurt swallowing it with his dry mouth, but he knew that it needed at least 15 minutes to kick in and those could be almost unbearably long with his scar tissue itching everywhere. He could tell that he had been out for at least a couple of hours, otherwise it wouldn’t hurt quite that bad. The ape gestured inquiring. He was a little wary of the apes in general after their hunt through the woods.

“...Those are analgetics.”

She looked a bit confused.

“Pain-mitigating drugs.”, he tried to explain.

Now she seemed concerned, which meant that she understood that one. He tried to calm her down, even though he did not understand why it was a big deal for her. They knew each other for approximately 4 minutes, 5 at top.

“It’s okay. I am taking them for quite a while.”

She still seemed to be disturbed somehow. She gestured again at him. He struggled to follow her. But the moment she realized that he seemed to know at least a bit sign language, she slowed down.

“Uh…”

He got red the moment he recognized what she said. She had thanked him for rescuing them. She even had tears in her eyes, talking about something with the word “brave” in it and really, Alex didn’t want to hear any of it. He was no hero, in no way. But she didn’t stop there. She went even further, the more he rejected her praise the more eager her hands got. She talked about Ceasar, about being sorry for letting the apes chasing them - even though they had been innocent. She asked for forgiveness, but Alex could only stare at her.

She seemed to realize that he felt awful, because the next moment she laid her arms carefully around him, hugging with so much passion, so much love, it made him sick. Everything in him screamed to shove her away but his body just stood there, motionless. He felt warm tears escaping his eyes, falling silently down his colorless cheeks, treacherous as ever. Weak. He was weak. But he was also a grieving son. And this here was a hug that only a mother could grant. Being held like that was a bittersweet agony. It made the loss of his own mother more vivid than ever -and the recent loss of his father unbearable.

She released him, slowly, eyeing him with a worried face the moment she saw his tears.

“...Sorry.”

He rubbed his sleeve over his face, averting her gaze. Smiling she cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her again. No words could’ve managed what she offered alone with that exchange. Full of acceptance and understanding. It was frightening how deep she could see. How emphatic she was. Her intelligence was clear as day. Not that Alex needed to be reminded of that. But it was still awesome somehow.

“You. Don’t worry.”

Her voice was surprisingly gentle and quiet, nothing like Caesar’s spoken words. Not that he had many examples of that to begin with. -Well, if he could ponder about something again, his medicine seemed to already work. The itching pain in his arms and back was just something in the background of his mind, which was nice. It was enough to be able to relax a bit.

She eyed him.

“Your medicine. Helps already?”

He nodded. Scratching his head absent-minded, while being overwhelmed by a memory of his.

_Ellie kneels down to him, smiling reassuringly._

“ _Does it help already?”_

_He shied away, memories of his mother plagued him. He managed to nod though. Alex rubbed over his rough, open ragged skin at his upper arm through his shirt absent-mindely while averting his eyes. It hurt looking at that kind woman, way more than his wounds did._

“ _You’ll have to excuse his behavior, he just lost his mother...”_

_Ellie looked up to Malcolm with sympathy._

“ _My condolence.”_

_Alex registered the sad smile his father wore and pressed himself a little more against his arm, clutching at the fabric of Malcolms shirt. Ellie watched him flinching in pain while doing so._

“ _Here, you can have them back.”_

_She gave him his gloves back, which he put on with eagerness. Immediately he felt more secured again. His self laid no longer bare before that woman and he was thankful for that._

“ _He can continue wearing them? It won’t disturb the healing process?”_

_Ellie shook her head._

“ _No. This is very soft material. Besides in most cases we all figure out ourselves what is best for us to heal anyway”, Malcolm looked concerned, so she continued. “It’s really fine. Just don’t forget to give him these later in the evening, too, it will help setting a pain level. And rub this cream in the burned areas, it will cool them down a bit and help lessening the tense sensation he’ll most likely experience.”_

“ _I’ll do that. Thank you.”_

_Both adults smiled at each other, while Alex felt a twist inside his stomach._

That had been the first time they’ve met Ellie. And the first time his fear arose to lose his father to a new woman. It was selfish and stupid, but that was how he had felt back then. He had been so mad at his dad for beginning a new life with someone else than his mother. Even years after that as their journey to the dam begun he had felt that way. His relationship to his father got pretty conflicted after Ellie stepped into their life. Now he knew that Malcolm had every right in the world to fall in love again. But it was too late now. And Ellie, she…

Alex let out a shuddered breath, willing the upcoming thoughts and pictures away with as much force as he could muster, clutching into his jeans until it hurt bad enough to stop him from being able to concentrate on anything else.

A muffled sound startled the teen and he turned around in an instant just to be confronted with a familiar ape -the one having almost the same eyes as his own, just a tiny bit brighter.

Blue Eyes eyed the human. He had witnessed everything before and had difficulties deciding what to do. In the end he had stood there in silence, partly because he did not wish to disturb the moment the human boy had with his mother, as strange as it was, but also because he was maybe a bit curious as to why the human got so sad even though his mother had praised him so much. He still didn’t get it. Humans sure were strange…

Cornelius shifted on his arms and eventually he let him slip to the ground, running towards their mother, only to stop the moment he registered the human right next to her. Blue Eyes was a little bit impressed that his little brother seemed to recognize the human. He cheeped at their unexpected guest as a greeting before climbing on the lap of his mother, happily hugging her. Cornelia caressed her little one lovingly. Which made the human relax a bit, even smiling slightly. Blue Eyes blinked confused, but the moment was gone too fast to dwell on it any second longer.

His father came into view and he could not tell what Caesar may thought seeing the son of his human friend again. They had been certain that they parted for good, to never see them ever again. Blue Eyes and Rocket had ensured their safe trip to some humans not far from the colony after all. So, why was this one now here? Where were his parents?

“Alexander.”

Alex startled. He was astonished that Caesar knew his name, that he was relevant enough to be recognized by this amazing being.

“Why are you here? Saving apes. Risking own life.”

The teen averted his eyes, not knowing where to begin. Well, he knew exactly how it had started, but he felt all but ready to say it out loud. Caesar carefully approached the boy, his uneasiness got under his skin. He had a bad feeling about this. A thought that he hadn’t been able to free himself from.

“...Malcolm?”

Alex closed his eyes in agony. Hearing his name. Being forced to confirm something he would rather not think about. But that was a thought of a little child. Sighing he forced himself to open his eyes again, tried desperately to be as grown-up as possible.

“He was murdered.”

He saw the hurt inside Caesar’s eyes, saw that the ape had already suspected it.

“...Why?”

Caesar frowned. Hadn’t Blue Eyes reported that Malcolm went to humans that were friendly? What had happened?

Several footsteps announced the appearance of Rocket, Maurice and Luca.

“Caesar, the apes are ready to leave.”

“Good”, he signed back to his friend. Thoughtful he looked at the human boy again. Not really knowing what to do with him. To his surprise the boy spoke first.

“You’re leaving?”

Caesar nodded, a bit weary to be honest with himself. He showed mercy to those  other humans, sent them back to their base to show them that he was no monster, that he wished for peace. And they came here to kill him, almost slaughtering his family while at it!

They did not succeed. But it shook him to the bone nevertheless. Because they would’ve, if it weren’t for that human boy. 

“Yes. Apes no longer safe.”

The boy seemed troubled somehow.

“I mean no disrespect, but are you sure about that - about leaving now?”

Caesar blinked confused while Alex continued talking, nervously fidgeting with his sleeves.

“The Colonel”, he exhaled deeply to lose some of the tension he felt by talking about this man, “He will kill you all. You are way too many to be able to move undetected. And I bet that now that he knows where you are he has his men patrolling the area constantly… As long as he is there you won’t be able to leave safely.”

Caesar and Rocket exchanged a glance. Blue Eyes started gesturing though.

“We are too many, he is right, father. We need a separate group, a plan to distract him to help the others leave.”

“I know… I already planned to go and find their camp. Kill the Colonel.”

“Caesar, you are our leader, you are needed here.”, Maurice hooted agitated.

“The Colonel wants me dead, it will distract him from apes.”

“But, father, you can’t go alone! Let me come, too, I can-”

“No.”, Caesar said out loud. He had almost lost his first born, he would not allow him to risk his life any further! He discovered the moment the thought was thought that it was a foolish one. He had sent Blue Eyes to a dangerous journey, without knowing what his son might be confronted with, after all. Sure, Rocket had been with him. But still. Blue Eyes was now a young man. He could no longer hold him that close.

-”Maybe I can help.", the human announced. And with it he had all eyes on him. Alex shifted uncomfortably.

“I was mostly assigned to the colony and subject to those few soldiers that managed the daily life over there, so I don’t know where their current camp is, but I also happened to be one of the only ones that appeared harmless enough to be allowed to work on their sensitive systems. I might be able to sneak back inside and get one of their headsets. And if so I would be able to overhear their communications.”

“You can do that?”

Alex shrugged.

“Sure, I did so many times before and believe me, those systems they’ve got are susceptible to interference. It’s even relatively easy to disturb their communication while we’re at it.”

Of course he always just interrupted the signals for no more than a few seconds, delaying the commander’s orders long enough that the apes could use those precious seconds to fall back and save themselves. He hadn’t been able to use it that often, so that he wouldn’t attract attention that fast. It had been hard sometimes to decide if he should interfere or rather not…

“Why help us?”

Blue Eyes had asked, looking at the human in a demanding manner. Caesar had to agree, he was eager to understand the motives of Malcolm’s boy too. But on the other hand, that kid was his father’s son and that was already a good answer. Maybe without the war they currently lived in this information would be enough. Maybe. But as a matter of fact, the war was still very true.

“My father helped you before, knowing that blaming you or fighting you was wrong. All he ever wanted was to have peace... He did everything in his power to archive this goal and...he failed. -He saw Caesar as a value friend of his and thus I feel like I owe him to at least try to help you to stop this senseless war.”

-“My scouts think they know where their camp is, Caesar, I’ll show you. And if not, the human may already know more.”

“No, Luca, you stay here. I need to go alone.”

-“They almost killed your family. We need to stop this. I will watch your back!"

Rocket crossed his arms, making it pretty clear that he won’t argue with that. Maurice hooted too.

“I will come too, making sure you come back.”

Caesar pondered a momend, deciding that it was pointless to argue with his close friends. They all wanted to help and he couldn’t blame them for it. They would follow him anyway.

“We’ll have to leave soon. Rocket, make everything ready.”

Grunting in agreement Rocket disappeared, while Caesar watched the group musing about everything and nothing alike. The decision to kill the Colonel was no hard one and it frightened him somehow how eager he was to confront that man for his crimes.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex tried to focus on his surroundings rather than on the fact that he was sitting on a horse. But it was hard doing so, with it’s strange movements that forced him to shift uncomfortably every now and then. He glanced to his side where Caesar’s son was, riding on a black mere and looking so unbelievably comfortable and smooth -while Alex had his problems to keep his balance even without the horse moving around.

He sighed. Suddenly his horse, he didn’t even know if it was male or female, jumped a bit to get over a big chunk and this unpredictable move made Alex nearly fall over. The only reason he didn’t was, because he clutched at it’s neck with all his might. He had been right on time, but now struggled to get back into an upright position again. He heard the restrained laughter and couldn’t help turning red. Avoiding to look to his companion he got back to scanning the area.

Why was the ape with him in the first place? Alex had been capable of reaching the apes home, so he would’ve been fine just walking all the way back on his own, probably. But for some reason Caesar had insisted in sending his son with him to ensure his safety -well, and maybe to be able to be informed if something went wrong? No, it wouldn’t be that vital if he did not succeed in his mission. So it had to be the fact that Caesar wanted to keep his son away from his own mission (killing the Colonel), which promised to be a whole lot more dangerous than babysitting a human boy.

It seemed to be a compromise the ape king has made and Alex wondered if his son was aware of that fact and just played along. What were his thoughts in general? Not necessarily about the mission, Alex was interested in anything else, too.

He liked the idea of having a conversation with the ape, but he was no great talker. At least with someone he did not observe a long time beforehand. And on top of that someone that was, well, not human? How was that supposed to work? Did apes talk about the weather or was this some stupid attempt within the ape community?

The human boy sighed, which got the attention of Blue Eyes. The ape had his troubles not making fun of the human. His riding skills really weren’t any skills at all. It was a miracle that the human was still holding himself onto the poor stallion at all. And with his ridiculous long legs it looked even more funny -really, the longer he watched the human the funnier it got.

“What’s wrong?”, he was able to say. It was hard to not lose himself to his urge to finally express his rising amusement.

For the first time since they begun their journey the human looked over to him. Blue Eyes hadn’t realized up until now how close they rode. It was strangely mesmerizing to look into those eyes, they seemed so...familiar. It was strange, even more so for him. A few month ago he had been the first to feel something like hate for those beings, well, it was a bit more than a year by now, but it felt like the start of their war had been very recently.

Blue Eyes forcefully turned his head, so he would not look any longer at the human. Those big, blue eyes were more similar to his own than any ape of his colony and somehow that similarity nearly forced him to look at that human again and again -completely against his will.

“...Uh… I dunno.”

The human’s face went red again, it was some interesting reaction. One that Blue Eyes could only assume meant embarrassment. The human sighed yet again, this time it was a whole lot more frustrated.

“Look, I’m really bad at… _this_.”, the human mimed between them and Blue Eyes had no choice but to look at him again, confused. Hesitantly Alex tried to explain.

“I’ve got some really bad social skills… So…, please don’t be mad if I should act strange or...something like that. ...I’m trying to do better, but, uh, as a matter of fact I had not that much possibilities of developing my conversational skills, so, yeah, just a friendly warning of mine.”

Blue Eyes blinked in confusion. After some thought he shrugged.

“...Good.”

“...Yeah.”, the human’s whole body was as stiff as a rock, the whole situation had turned to something really awkward. Blue Eyes decided that the human maybe needed some more talking, so hopefully that strange atmosphere would disappear again.

“How come you don't talk much in past - you not talk with human friends?”

Alex blinked confused. “Friends?” Blue Eyes waited, but nothing in the human’s facial expression changed into something that would indicate a joke or something like that.

Now it was Blue Eye’s turn to blink. Was the human making fun of him for his problems in talking out loud or-

-”You do know _how_ we had to spent the years before that whole “repair the dam”-mission, don’t you?”

The human looked at him like he had missed something. It bothered him. At the same time Alex realized his own wrongdoing and smiled ruefully.

“Well, why would you, indeed… After all you had no idea that we still existed.”

Blue Eyes thought back. He really had no vivid memory of humans, at least before he and Ash met that ugly human after their fishing trek.

“Sometimes we heard loud noises, but not much. And after some time...Nothing.”, he shrugged again. It had been such a nice life, before all this. Before humans invaded the woods…

Alex nodded, almost wearing the same cynic expression as Blue Eyes did.

“Yeah, well, those noises were most certainly bombs and guns…”

It was only then that Blue Eyes understood to what the human was referring to.

“You mean you lived at war with other humans? Before the war with apes.”

Alex nodded, with a distant look.

“Yes. My last friend had been shot to shreds many years ago...”

“Almost 12 by now...”, he added with a bitter taste in his mouth. Blue Eyes’ put his head slightly to the side inquiring.

“Humans grow different than apes, I know. I’m 10, now adult. But how old?”

He pointed at the human to indicate that he meant him, because he knew that something was odd with his sentence.

“Uh, well, a human is considered an adult by the age of 21 here, but I’m told that in other nations it had been a bit earlier, around 18 or so. Well, and I’m 17 right now.”

The young chimp gave a surprised hoot.

“You still a child!”

Alex crossed his arms, frowning.

“I’m not!”, to not seem like some pouting child indeed he continued, “I’m a teenager, that’s a huge difference.”

Blue Eyes couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s not _that_ huge.”

Mumbling Alex ignored the chimp, maybe a bit moping to be true. But somehow this situation was...kinda nice. It felt like there could be...something. It was way too early to talk about “friendship” already, but it sure as hell felt like maybe, some day, it could be.

The possibility alone was so thriving, he had no idea how he should proceed. But there wasn’t much time to dwell any longer on his thoughts as they’ve reached their goal. At least something like that. Alex could see the colony in the distance, which was now some weird outpost-like complex of 4 buildings. It made it a bit more comfortable with everyone having more space. At least that had been the idea. “Comfortable” was far from what Alex felt about the colony. They were reduced yet again to fearful beings, mistrusting everyone again.

Well, he hadn’t stopped eyeing everyone very carefully, but that had been his awful people skill’s -at least that’s what his father always had said. How he should see this whole damn thing as their hope for the future, that he should learn to find peace in the company of others. Because other humans meant safety. They could become again something they had been before. Granting the luxury of nice greetings and neighborly help. But Alex had only spent his first years within the peace of a functioning government. He could hardly remember anything from that. In his mind it was hard to imagine a world of peace, it was something that was too abstract to be considered as something real.

Thoughtfully eyeing his companion Alex pulled slightly on the strings so the horse stopped walking.

-“Maybe this is as near as you should accompany me?”

“I won’t sit and wait until you return!”

“Well… I suppose you could stay hidden if you climb from building to building. But with the soldiers and the past happenings everyone is very aware of your climbing abilities.”

“You have different plan?”

Alex shook his head in remorse.

“...Not now at least.”

Blue Eyes shrugged.

“So climbing it is.”

Alex was still not quite sure if this was a good idea, but he nodded anyway. The chimp was much stronger than he was, so even if he wanted to, he could not force the other one to stay behind. And if he was honest with himself he wasn't keen on going alone in the first place. Knowing that the chimp was watching him from somewhere he felt at least a bit more secured. Even if it was a lie, because if the ape cared enough to help him, there was not that much of a chance that he could reach Alex in time.

The teen had to stop himself in searching the area for the ape while wandering through the city. His hands shivered, he really hadn’t planned on getting back to the colony any time soon. But well, here he was. Trying to steal a radio from the few soldiers that were here. The one’s that won’t like to see him.

But if he was lucky the guards were too distracted with smoking or flirting or whatever they did. Here, out of the grasp of the Colonel they seemed to feel secured enough to allow themselves to slack off a bit. One of them even found a liking to one of the women. Her swollen belly was indication enough how deep their relationship really was. Oh. He almost completely forgot Jason! If he was on duty it would be easy to get inside. After all that soldier was interested in him -it always felt way too much in the past, but now this obsession could come in handy.

Slightly shaking his head he tried to get past the hurtful yet strangely arousing images of their last encounter in his mind. Sighing he massaged his temple. Sometimes it was hard being a teen. Especially one that did not dream of being with a woman… Sighing yet again he glanced over the people in the distance. It had been hard to come to terms with the fact that something was different with him. But eventually he decided that it was not worth being worried about it that much. Besides, he had no love life to begin with.

He was not good with forming bonds with other people. Mostly because he avoided them. Liking someone, getting close to someone, that meant you could lose them, too. That lesson he learned quite well already, though he didn’t look forward in putting himself in such conditions in the first place. And a few month ago he still had his father as a reliable source of comfort, even if Alex had not allowed that many occasions of close proximity.

And Jason? Well he wasn’t a nice guy, quite the contrary. And Alex was not even particularly interested in this man, but as a matter of fact it was enormously hard for someone with his sexual orientation to find common ground. Meeting with that supposedly handsome fellow had the strange effect to put his mind at ease -the more he got hurt by him the blanker his mind went. It had been the closest thing to feeling at peace.

But even though his time at the colony was hardly one day ago it felt pretty far away right now. With helping the apes he found some purpose again and with it his...time with Jason somehow felt wrong now. His face flushed as he recognized that one of the guards was indeed him. It was both relief and humility he felt in that moment. As long as the ape wasn't captured, he most certainly had him as an observer.

-“Hey, guys, look who’s back!”  -”Oh god, it’s your whore, Jason!”

Alex winced. He hated being called names, but even though he had been named many things by now, he felt deeply ashamed for how he’d allowed Jason to treat him up until now. And the worst of all was that he knew that he probably had to degrade himself again in a similar way to be able to reach his goal…

Moray, a rather skinny soldier, lifted his gun as Alex approached them further. Jason looked at Alex, his eyes went up and down in a way the teen knew too damn well. After that Jason reached for his friend’s gun to force it down.

“Come on, don’t be like that.”

“Jason, seriously. The Colonel wants him dead, we have our orders.”

Jason shrugged.

“Well, and he had his.”

It was a dangerous accusation lingering inside there, but his friends just looked at their own feet. Jason was right and they knew it. The Colonel went too far. They all had the vivid memory of Mickey’s execution after he disobeyed to kill his brother to stop the spread of the virus. And that had been it. Many of them that had felt admiration for their Colonel feared him by now because of such actions. It was nothing any of them talked about, but they still all knew it.

Jason smiled, he knew he had won that argument.

"Well, now that this is discussed... Alexander, come along."

Alex shivered. Wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers he obeyed. He ignored his wish to look for the ape, too afraid to reveal his existence by accident, and thus signing his death sentence. And that was definitely the last thing he wanted to be responsible for...


	4. Chapter 4

Alex followed Jason a while without breaking the silence. They passed some people, but Jason was leading him away from the center of their new colony. He knew the place they were about to reach, knew what the other had in mind. Well, it wasn’t hard to guess to begin with. Jason was a greedy man. Nothing and no one ever was enough. He was some sort of mine that could get triggered even with the slightest fraction... Alex shivered. God, how had he managed before to not be afraid of him?

“Very well, here we are.”, the man smiled and approached Alex the moment the door closed behind them. Everything inside the teen screamed to run away, but he stood his ground, telling himself that this here was no difference from all the other times before. 

He couldn’t quite grasp why he felt so far away while the other male was working on his neck, trying his best to arouse him. Luckily Jason was as much a self-absorbed bastard as ever, so he didn’t even noticed the uprising sickness Alex dealt with while he was undressed roughly by him.

In the end he just closed his eyes, hoping that it would be over soon.

 

And indeed it was. Everything felt like a fast going movie, without sound or anything. Just time passing by without any grasp of reality. But as soon as it was over and Jason left, it all hit him. He felt horrible. Not even the nice emptiness that he normally gained from those abusive meetings kicked in. There was nothing but disgust. And he was tired as fuck.

But somewhere around the colony Caesar’s son was waiting for him. And he most certainly wouldn't be grateful to have to wait any longer than truly necessary… So he put himself up, knowing that Jason would most certainly notice the absence of his radio in less than a few minutes. He was a drilled military man to begin with. And Alex really didn’t want to be around for the wrath that definitely will occur.

The only problem was he was hurting. Pretty bad actually. No idea why, but his inner neglect towards their...physical engagement didn’t help relaxing his muscles enough. Sighing he went outside, trying his best to be invisible -by leaving the colony as obvious as possible, as if it was the most natural thing for him to go in and out like he pleased.

It was strange, but he learnt a long time ago that sometimes the best way to stay understated is to be clearly visible. It was nothing that worked every time of course, but as to this occasion, it did. Jason’s friends were too occupied with themselves, the not-wife of Moray was arguing pretty intense with the future father of her child. Alex had no idea what they were arguing about, but either way the look of the woman was rather furious and he was really lucky that it was not directed at him.

He managed to sneak a couple of blocks away eventually realizing that he maybe shouldn’t go too far. He had no way of knowing where Caesar’s son was or if he saw him already leaving the colony in the first place... They did not communicate anything for that occasion. God, that had been stupid. How was he supposed to find the ape now? Frustrated he looked into the sky. Of course it was already about to get dark.

“Well, that figures...”

He had no choice but to find shelter and search for the ape in the morning. It was dangerous to stay any longer, but what other choice was there? Leaving without Caesar’s son was no option. So waiting it will be.

 

Blue Eyes saw the human chatting with the soldiers, which made him a bit nervous. But the human, the boy, had no reason to betray them, had he? Well, Blue Eyes had blamed him and his companions for killing his father, regardless the fact that just one of them presumably did it. And they chased them through the woods for the most part of the evening... If the humans hadn’t been able to escape they would’ve been killed immediately. Blue Eyes grimaced. He would’ve killed them with pleasure back then, even though they healed his mother.

Shaking his head slightly he tried to stay focused again. There was no need of thinking that much about what could’ve gone wrong or what could’ve been different if they had acted less violent.

He tried to reach the next building, but nearly lost his footing. Those things weren’t as predictable as a tree would be. He couldn’t determine which surface was not safe, because some of those construction damages weren’t visible. There was something wrong inside those walls. Scoffing he brushed the dirt from his fur on his legs. He hated those disgusting buildings. The whole city was something he despised. How could one live like that?

His adventurous jump up here at least gave him what he wished to accomplish: a better view, without putting himself in range of their weapons for the possibility of detection. Where was the human boy now? Still at the entrance. One soldier was right beside him. They seem to discuss something, then the boy started following the other human further inside. Displeased Blue Eyes considered for a moment if he should stay here in a relative safe distance or go further to watch over the boy. He seemed rather scared, at least as far as Blue Eyes could trust his skills at reading humans. He easily understood why one could fear those soldiers, he really did, but being one of them and still have fear… It felt wrong to be scared of one’s own people. What was left if one could not even trust their own kind?

A small voice inside his head argued with his thought, bringing the memory of Ash’s death back to the surface… With a pained sound he scanned the area, determined on staying on course, but the memory still hurt awfully… He exhaled in frustration. He had lost the human boy. There was no way of following him any further.

Now he had nothing to do but to wait, watching the entrance. They had not discussed how long this would take. If the boy had to stay there for some time to be able to reach that radio he needed. Or at least some sort of meeting place. Growling he bit his lip. He was the older one, so it was his failure. He should have thought it through, but had been too easily distracted with their personal chat. Which had been kind of nice. It reminded him of his banter with Ash back when everything had been just right...

He watched the colony quite a while from over there, trying to get a grasp of the amount of gunned humans that could become a danger. To his displeasure most of the people were armed in some way. Which made the colonists almost as dangerous as the soldiers. They seem to have different shifts, the soldiers had their own routine of securing the place, while the colonists had a system, too. They went in groups to search the area around their colony. His building was in close proximity to one of their meeting points where they exchanged a few words, ate a bit and then moved on. At least the last two groups did that, this one was chatting for quite a while.

Some strange sound reached him. He turned around, but a stinging pain in his left shoulder told him that it was too late. He tried to fire his gun, but found it way too hard to grasp that thought or lift his arm for that matter. His body moved way too slow.

“We’ve got him!”

Blue Eyes bared his teeth while struggling to keep an upright position.

“He’s still not out. -Heightmeyer!”

The demanding voice vanished together with a second stinging pain in his leg. Blue Eyes grabbed that strange thing, watching it with fascination. A small needle with feathers. How strange...

 

The first thing Blue Eyes realized was that he was moving. It was dark and the sound rather horrifying. Especially because he knew what it meant. He was in a human vehicle. They were moving him somewhere. Which meant that he was unsure of his whereabouts. Had the human betrayed him? Why would he do that?

His head hurt. His legs, too. He tried to move, but he seemed to be in some sort of cage, a small one in which he could not even sit properly. With horror he thought back on his rescue of Ray, of the condition he and Fox had been after a few days in those cages. Ray had told him that the humans did something to them, hurt them... Blue Eyes shivered.

Thoughts of Koba popped up. Would he be tortured and eventually end up just like him? Hate growing inside him until it swallows him? "Scars make you strong", that's what Koba told him after his ignorance almost got him killed by that bear. Back then he had gained strength from those words, but now it was different. He doesn't want to get that kind of strength anymore.

Yes, Koba had been strong and cunning. But Blue Eyes was different than him. Back then he had adored Koba for his strength, for being that confident, for making things easy. Now he knew that making things easy wasn't exactly the best solution. Besides he was restless. He desperately needed to bring his people, his family to a safe place. He yearned to explore more of the world, finding more good places. Wandering through new forests, getting to know new things. Finding adventures. That was what he felt would be right for him. 

But until now he did not find any adventures, instead adventures found him. And he wasn't sure if he'll live long enough to learn yet again something new about himself. Because this time he would not be saved by Rocket. The lieutenant was helping his father killing the Colonel.

Blue Eyes had to rely on himself. And somehow that was scarier than the vivid pictures of the harmful things the humans could do to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex sighed soundlessly. Suppressing a cold shiver he tried to concentrate. But it was hard not to give in to blind panic knowing that he was trapped right now. He was hiding inside a trunk, no glorious thing to do indeed. But it was better than being caught immediately without a fight. So he waited as silently as possible.

The people searching the building were not really throughout and this was something he found really odd. But there were just too many hiding places with everything being damaged and in disarray in some way or another... A familiar voice almost made Alex whimper.

-“I don’t care how long it’ll take, we’ll find him!”

“But Jason, what if he left the town for good?”

“He wouldn’t. Now that we got the information of the colonist’s scouts that he came with that thing, I’m positive that he won’t abandon it.”

Alex’ heart skipped a beat. They got Caesar’s son! What else could Jason possibly mean? God, what should he do now?

“Uh, but if that’s the case, why move it out of here?”

“That’s simple. To get his attention of course. He’ll most definitely find out that his pet is missing. It won’t surprise me if he already knew by now.”

The other one grunted.

“You sure as hell give that boy much credit.”“

"Well, he’s a smart one. I knew something was fishy the moment he entered the colony again. And we know for certain that he is around this block somewhere.”

“You bugged him?”

Jason laughed shortly.

“Yeah, well, why do you think I fucked that little brat in the first place? I- Wait a sec… -Yes, Martinez? Well… Yeah, understood, we’ll be there.”

The words hurt even though Alex hated that man the more he talked. He heard them leaving the room rather hastily, but Alex was cautious. He stood put for quite some time after that, just to be sure that this was not some trick to get him out of his hide-out.

He had some bad experience with bandits back to the time where living on the streets had been something entirely new. Those men had made him feel safe enough to leave his lair, just to be caught in an instant. His father had rescued him though, but the memory still was a bad one.

He had to find a way out of this mess. Not only that. The ape was now captured because of him. He had to rescue him somehow.

Carefully he left the trunk, sneaking out of the room, through the corridor and back outside. The first thing he did as soon as he got behind some old car was to search his clothes for the tracking device. He found it in his bag. Jason knew that Alex would never left it anywhere out of reach. But maybe there were some more somewhere. Just to be sure he went through everything, every little corner of his clothes.

As soon as he was entirely sure that there really was nothing else with him that didn’t belong there, he started to sneak into the direction he heard muffled noises -not before throwing the tracking device back inside the building. The sound it made was not that loud, but he shivered nonetheless. He knew that Jason and his men were somewhere near him. Knew that Jason was persistent.

Finding them really wasn’t a difficult task. Sighing he got near enough to overhear Jason talking with one of his men again. With a little grin he remembered the reason the ape and he risked their lives like that in the first place. The radio. If he could determine on which frequency Jason was talking with his men, maybe he’ll be able to listen to them to find out where they were holding the ape.

After all it was Jason’s intention to get Alex over there. At least he had talked like he had a specific plan in mind. But well, Alex knew that man for quite some time by now and experienced often enough that Jason was a man of action rather than scheming. His best guess was that Jason was mostly bluffing.

But because of their bad communication beforehand Alex had no clue where to start searching for the ape if what Jason said really was a bluff.

Shivering Alex rubbed over his cold arms. It was already freezing. Frost lingered around some places. Winter surely was a cruel season... In the past he had loved snow because of Christmas and snowball matches as well as sledging. But now? Now it was connected with months of being painfully cold, of starvation, death and angst.

Shutting his eyes for a moment he let the memory pass. It was pointless to remember the past. He accepted a long time ago that those times were gone. It had been Malcolm’s wish to regain all that was lost, Alex’ was to just forget it all and leave it behind…

 

Alex followed Jason’s men for hours now, it was a nerve-wrecking trek that reminded him of his endless walks through the destroyed neighborhood with his father and mother. It was a hurtful memory of seeing many dead people, dead friends just lying there on the ground, sometimes they’d been half way decayed already... Those were pictures that would haunt him for the rest of his life for sure. Sometimes the smells and noises he witnessed came to the surface without much warning, just appearing out of nowhere, almost forcing him to bend over and puke. Almost. At the beginning those kind of flashbacks made him puke for real, but eventually he learned to endure them without puking, crying or something similar.

But right now he couldn’t stand the odor that infiltrated his mind. He knew the moment that this ugly, kinda sour smell was in his head what would come next. Because it always does.

Grimacing he leaned back at the car he was hiding behind, trying to concentrate on the cold surface it provided. But the memories just kept coming.

“ _Aw, come on, Alex, don’t be a coward!”_

Alex closed his eyes violently. But still the memories came. Flashes of blonde hair. Pink lips softened to a wide smile and a small nose with freckles everywhere around...

“ _You won’t catch me!”_

Bright laughter, a dirty knee-length blue dress and bruised legs… He was helplessly sucked right into his consciousness.

_Emma standing right atop some parts of their collapsed school. Smiling boldly at him._

“ _Emma, I really don’t think we should be here. There could be raiders nearby...”_

_“Aw, come on, Alex, don’t be a coward!”_

_Alex fidgets with his bag._

“ _But our parents told us to stay at our camp! We’ve gone too far already. Let’s head back, ...please?”_

“ _But it’s not even dark! They can’t force us to stay with them and hold their hands the entire day just because of this stupid simian flu! What’s the fun in that?”_

“ _...Well, it surely is way more safe than wandering off alone. I bet they’re already looking for us… And if they’ll find out that we’ve gone that far away, we’ll surely be in much trouble! -Wait, Emma, what the hell are you doing, man?”_  

_His friend was climbing a broken wall further up, holding herself barely onto some iron bar._

“ _Emma, come down there, this is dangerous! You don’t even know what’s up there!”_

“ _...There’s some light, I think? Can’t be too sure. Maybe a teacher was able to survive up there?”_

_Frowning skeptical Alex shook his head._

“ _I don’t think that one of our teachers would choose this strange place to hide… Besides, lights are never a good sign these days…”_

_She ignored his protest and climbed even further. Groaning in annoyance he also started his way up, determined to shove her back on the ground -back to their camp if that’s what it would take!_

_Giggling she sticks her tongue out at him the moment she saw that he begun climbing too._

“ _You won’t catch me!”_

_He gave his best in reaching her, but she had always been better than him in athletics, the best student in their class. She laughed just more, even gained more speed than before._

“ _You’ll always stay as slow as a turtle compared to me!”_

_With a winning grin she reached the top. Inhaling with some sort of curious sound she suddenly ignored him and disappeared, probably to climb the other side down again..._

_The sun was almost gone by now, it got harder to see properly which made it more difficult to climb. He hated climbing, hated heights. But here he was. Getting angrier with every inch he went further._

_He was almost about to let a frustrated scream out the moment he finally -finally!- reached the top of that stupid rock. But the missing silhouette of his friend was giving him something like a panic attack. He hadn’t took that much time climbing after her, he was sure of it! But she was nowhere to be seen…_

_He squinted his eyes, searching the area. There was light over there he saw it now, too. And something like a classroom, nearly intact, well, if you ignore the missing roof of course. And it seemed to at least miss one part of a wall. He leaned a little bit further to maybe be able to see through the blown out window over there, but a_ _big hand grabbed him out of nowhere and threw him off his feet._

_Coughing he held his hurting knees, blinking away the tears. That had hurt! He looked up. There was the fire crackling maybe 20 feet away from him. That had been a flight! His stomach ached and everything spun like crazy. Trying to get up again he moaned in agony as someone grabbed him by his hair, forcing him to look up, right into those small dark eyes._

“ _What’s with this one, boss?”_

“ _Throw him out?”_

_The man that held him frowned._

“ _Eh, for real? But he’s not bad looking, ya know, maybe if she’s not that great we could use him, too?”_

_Alex heart skipped a beat the moment his eyes were able to locate his friend. She was lying there, held in place by a stranger. She was drenched in tears and shivered.  
“Emma!”, his voice croaked. His throat was squeezed hard the moment he tried to shove the adult to reach her. _

“ _Don’t you dare try something, u got me?”_

_As he didn’t reply immediately the stranger squeezed him some more, making Alex gasping helplessly for air. Not til the boy was sure to lose his consciousness he was shoved away carelessly._

_It took a moment to regain his senses. Pained screams filled his ears, Emma was sobbing so hard that her whole body shook like a leave, but the men did not stop in touching her between her legs, massaging her flat chest roughly, too. The biggest one of them took his pants off and shoved his dick inside her mouth so fast, Alex’ mind wasn’t even able to process what he was witnessing. The odd sounds echoed through his head, everything inside him was screaming to do something, anything! But his body was._

_Not._

_Moving._

_His hands grasped the ground, he did not register the warm blood quelling out of his ripped open fingertips. Did not register his rasped breaths._

_Panic-stricken he watched. Just watched. Not even blinking while Emma’s eyes were locked with his, being forcefully moved back and forth._

_He couldn’t move. Couldn’t look away either. Even as her eyes rolled back and shut down he couldn’t. The ugly sounds echoed through his blank being._

Holding back the urge to cough, out of the bile he felt burning his throat, he grabbed his knife at his boots with ease and shoved it soundlessly inside his hastily exposed hand. Immediately a strong wave of pain overlapped those hurtful memories. This one always was the worst of all, always catching him off-guard…

He had never been able to work through the guilt and hate that had built up since that incident. Sure, that scum had their way with him, too, but in the end he’d been able to escape. He ran away and left her alone, not ever talking about what had happened. The fact that her parents had been infected with the flu mere days after their capture had been a coincidence he’d been thankful for -which made him hate himself even more.

He had been a coward indeed. They’d been only 8 years old, almost 9, and he knew that children were allowed to be cowards. But the stinging pain of guilt would never cease. Maybe that incident was why he never made an attempt to be friends with anyone ever again. Maybe somehow his hatred for himself, his guilt, was the real reason why he was on his own now for so long. He wouldn’t allow himself to be friends with someone. He didn’t deserve friendship. Not after what he’d done to his last one…

Shivering he gripped the knife with his bare hand some more, not ready for the cutting pain to fade.

There surely had been something with the ape. Blue Eyes. And for a second, maybe even some more, he’d thought, he’d wished - even craved!- for becoming friends with him... The kidnap of him may have been enough similarity to his past to draw that old memory back to the surface after so much time. After all it had been at least 3 years since his last episode about Emma.

But it doesn’t matter why it got to the surface again. Simply because he wouldn’t let it come this far ever again. He wouldn’t run away. Never again would he leave someone behind. 


	6. Chapter 6

Blue Eyes wasn’t sure how things had gone so wrong so fast. One moment he was at the building waiting for the human boy to return and the next second he felt dizzy and woke up inside a big car. Well, and now he was in an empty room, inside a cage of course. And every minute in there felt like eternity. His throat was scratchy, he knew it was at least a day since he got captured.

And the worst was that there wouldn’t be anyone searching for him in the near future. Everyone was busy, his father may have already found the camp of the soldiers already. And their people may have gotten out of the woods by now. He hoped they did. Imagining his mother or brother in captivity made him sick…

A door opened, the light hurt.

 “Shall we begin?”

 The soldier again. This time he held a little knife in his hands. Blue Eyes knew those, he had seen them on a small table back when they had rescued Fox and Ray.

 “I know you can understand me, I’m also pretty sure that you can talk. Your leader could, so why wouldn’t you?”

 He smiled, his teeth were showing. It disgusted Blue Eyes to no ends. Humans were such ugly beings! He almost forgot about it til now.

 "I want to know what’s your business with the boy.”

 Blue Eyes frowned in confusion. What had he to do with everything?

 “The boy. Alex. Don’t you dare play dump on me!”

 He held the knife threateningly close to Blue Eyes’ face.

 “So… Why did he stole my radio for you lot?”

 Blue Eyes frowned. How was he supposed to know why the human boy did what he did?

 “...I’m not the right person to ask.”

 The human scoffed, just mildly surprised that he indeed spoke.

 “So you can talk.”

 Obviously. The chimp had a hard time not to provoke the other one further. He tried to stay on track of exchanging information.

 “Why you capture me?”

 Jason smiled.

 “Well, that is easy to answer. Because I want Alex to come over, of course. That little brat has something that belongs to me, obviously, besides...well, we have some sorts of personal disagreement to settle.”

 That doesn’t sound nice. The ape heir got the feeling that the boy had managed to provoke that human somehow even before all this. Who knows why. And at the moment, with the knife so close to his skin, he was not that interested to get to know the story. In fact he just wished for the human to go away again.

 “I don’t like your way of staring at me. Don’t tell me you’re worried about that brat?”

 “He...won’t come.”

 At this the man laughed. Again with teeth. It made Blue Eyes sick.

 “Well, then maybe it is true and you really don’t know him that well. But it doesn’t matter. He’ll come nevertheless, you’ll see… But until then, the two of us will have some fun together. You don’t happen to know the game “truth or dare”, do you?”

 “...No.”

 At that the man grinned.

 “Very well, I’ll explain the rules to you.”

 Blue Eyes tried his best to look as blank as possible, not wanting to satisfy the human’s intend on frightening him. But at this point it probably wouldn’t matter what he did. The human had the upper hand.

 

 

“Truth or dare?”

 Blue Eyes hissed in pain. His torso hurt, his arms hurt. Everything hurt. He had no idea how much time has passed. And that fact didn’t help in feeling any less helpless. He began to truly understand how Rey and Fox must’ve felt…

 “I asked you a question!”

 He got hit again. It was hard containing his rage. This was no fair fight, this whole situation was a mess. He was chained and couldn’t even try to avoid being hit.

 “...Truth.”

 The last time he chose “dare” he had to choose between getting a burn on his left leg or being slit with a strange knife. He had chosen the knife which had been no straight sharp line, but some kind of jagged one. It had burned just as much as real fire. His leg still bled a bit and already was swelling.

 “Where is your leader?”

 Up until now he at least managed to hide the fact that it was his father that the human was talking about. But this was just a small victory. His situation would almost certainly get even more uncomfortable.

 “I don’t know. He...left.”

 “Where?”

 The knife again, slitting his skin on his neck just ever so slightly. Blue Eyes closed his eyes for a second. He was so exhausted… How was he supposed to keep this interrogation up, without getting any food or at least water? He already had a headache and felt like fainting. By now he had kind of a change of mind. Secretly he begun to raise all hope on the human boy.

Even though he hoped, he didn’t know how he should feel about it. Being rescued by a human from humans. It felt wrong.

 

Blue Eyes woke to the squeaking of the door and almost immediately panic rose inside him. He already connected that sound with pain that would be inflicted upon him. It had been several visits of such from that human by now. To his demise he lost to that monster, at his last visit he hadn’t been able to hold his screams back any longer, which had pleased the human to no end. Blue Eyes had been certain that his torturer wouldn’t stop after that. But at some point, after he had fainted a second time though this “Jason” had vanished in hurry after some message he received from one of his men.

The ape tried to move himself into a different position to see more and hissed in pain. His body was just too damaged already, there wasn’t any part left that was left alone. His excrement was in one corner of his little cage, the smell did not help to feel any less miserable and disgusted. Shifting a bit to the side he tried desperately to relieve the pressure on his left leg. It did not look good. The big wound on the top was not only swollen but already moistened…

 Blinking surprised he lifted his head further to find the cause for the unusual noise, that cruel human normally just came straight to him. He blinked. Not fast enough to process everything, he lost his connection to reality for some seconds there, maybe passed out again for a moment, he wasn’t sure. But after being without water for so long he knew everything was possible. Maybe he was hallucinating that the human threw the boy inside his cell?

 He blinked rapidly, but the sight before him was still the same. So the boy really came after him. But got captured… Making Blue Eyes feel all kinds of unpleasant things right now, things he knew weren’t fair. Because the boy was not responsible for what had happened to him. And certainly not responsible for his rescue.

 He heard a gasp next to him, his cell wasn’t really a big one, but he couldn’t turn his head. He couldn’t look the human boy into the eyes. Maybe especially because the cell was that small. It would be too close. He could barely muster to deal with himself and now being forced to have a witness right next to him, seeing him in that miserable state.

 “Oh god… I-I’m so sorry! I… I tried to find you as fast as possible! But then I had to break in and there had been so many guards and-”

 “It’s...all good. I...”, Blue Eyes cleared his raspy throat, “I know.”

 After all he hadn’t been able to rescue Ray and Fox that fast… But now the human boy was captured too and Blue Eyes was not sure what to feel about it. Would the boy watch that sick game of the mad man, see how weak Caesar’s son really was? He found himself thinking in endless circles, his panic grew with every thought he processed further.

Alex exhaled long and deep, desperately fighting to maintain his calm attitude. Jason really was a fucked up human being. Poor Blue Eyes… He blinked the tears away and with it the pictures of Emma’s mistreated body.

Without thinking Alex’ hand reached out, carefully touching the other males arm, examining a thin but deep cut. Wincing Blue Eyes bobbed his head to the human with wide, mortified eyes.

 “Sorry! That was stupid! I’m sorry! ...I just…”, Alex sighed, “I know a thing or two about treating wounds.”

 He couldn’t treat them in here of course. Without his bag. They both knew it, but Blue Eyes eventually resigned and let the human do what he thought he had to. He found that he didn’t care that much what happened to him at this point. He just wanted it to be over with. He had enough. Tears built up. He realized that he was so much weaker than his friends had been. He’s still so very much scared of the humans, of their guns. Of the war. Even Ray had seen how much of a coward Blue Eyes really was. He hadn’t been able to shoot back, too terrified of everything. He hated it. He hated humans!

 “...We’ll have to stitch that one here on your chest...and, fuck, the one on your leg is pretty bad. I’ll have to wash it properly and badge it up, it is pus-filled, maybe already infected... Shit.”

 Guilty eyes came into Blue Eyes’ sight. Somehow the eyes of the human boy were a bit of a darker blue with bits of...gray inside them. They were honest. Made him almost forget why he was angry at those. ...Why was he though? Everything blurred. He knew somewhere in his mind that he was about to pass out again. But unlike the many times before he breathed calmly and just continued to watch those strange calming eyes. Eventually he couldn’t hold his gaze that high any longer and wandered further down. To a strange, smooth looking nose. And puffy lips that moved kinda funny. He barely heard the sounds those made, his own heart was too loud pounding.

 “Please, stay awake! I’ll need your help to get us out of here...”

 Sighing Alex watched as the ape’s eyes rolled back and his whole body slumped to the ground. His arms still hanging in chains, holding him up high regardless his unconsciousness. This was no position to get a bit rest, to maybe find enough strength to fight back. He had to overthink his plan of escape. He had to- The door squeaked. Alex face immediately got distant.

 “...Jason.”

 “Alex.”

 The blonde man nodded to him in approval.

 “I am so glad you could make it in time!”

 Sighing Alex crossed his arms.

 “What do you want, Jason?”

 "I’m the one asking questions here.”

 He came as close to the cage as he could, standing there in an intimidating manner. But Alex already knew the dark sides of this man and found that he wasn’t that scared as he thought he would. Besides, there was someone next to him that depended on him being strong.

 “First of all: Where’s my radio? I searched that little bag of yours and found nothing of worth. I got carried away a bit, so some belongings got a little damaged, I fear. Hope you don’t mind.”

 Inhaling Alex tried to remain calm. Those mind-games were definitely Jason’s thing. He had expected something like that of course, but if he would’ve hid his beloved book Jason would have known immediately that something was odd. A moan to his side shook Alex awake.

“Ah, it seems we won’t have that much time until your friend comes to his senses. Well, what a pity. But to be honest, I don’t care that much what happened to the radio, I’ve got another one. The stolen one won’t have any use for you or your ape friends anyway.”

 He opened the cage and shoved Alex harshly outside. Alex had to fight a smile as he registered the big bulge between the other man’s legs. Jason was a fucked up human being, and of course he would get off by capturing him. Jason was a man with many demons, which made him just so very predictable. The only not so desired side effect was, that he wasn’t that much better. After so many month of excessive intercourse with that man and with Alex’ submissive nature in general it… He bit his lip to hold a moan in the moment cold hands grabbed his crotch. The tip of Jason’s cock was already at his entrance. As fast as ever. He really knew him just too good for his own good. But he kept wondering, what does it mean for him knowing such a spiteful human being that well like he did? What does it meant for his sanity that he was getting aroused?

 He didn’t want this to happen. He didn’t like it, he was sure of it. He’d calculated this to have to happen again, yeah, but he wasn’t supposed to get hard. Again. Why was his body betraying him like that? Was he truly that desperate of any contact at all? Was it all simply because he was 17 and couldn't help getting aroused that fast? He was just so disgusted with himself, he barely realized that Jason was already all the way inside and busy moving. With every thrust Alex was shoved against the iron bars of the cage.

A pained sigh made Alex tense immediately, followed by a harsh grip at his hair by Jason, forcing his head up.

 “You really are a slut, tensing like that! You’re imagining being watched by the ape, don’t you?”

“N-Not true!”

He knew it made no difference, he was without breath and this could easily been mistaken for pleasure. Well, and he knew best that to an instant he really was in pleasure, not really the good kind, but nevertheless. It is hard to believe him with that...

Alex thoughts kept running. He had been worried for Blue Eyes losing his consciousness like that, but also been kind of relieved that this meant that the ape wouldn’t witness any of this. And now he was waking up, his eyes already opened, blinking in confusion. Any second he would be awake enough to understand what was happening around him… Panic floated his heart, but Alex had decided before that he would deal with everything as long as he managed to rescue the ape in the process, he'd been relieved that the ape wouldn't see him like that and now being ripped from that was...unpleasant. He couldn’t bare the irritated, somehow ridiculous innocent eyes that were fixed on him, probably trying to understand what the fuck was happening right now. Maybe the ape doesn’t even knew until now that sex between men was possible that way. And god help him that look really did something to him!

It was frustrating but together with Jason’s fingers still painfully pressing around his dick it was just too much. He came, bit his lower lip open in the process to at least not moan for that bastard. It was still degrading as hell, even more so than that awful group-fuck that Jason had organized some time ago… Nothing that had happened there could match the embarrassment he felt right now. But it will be over soon. Everything will be fine. He’ll help the ape in getting out of here and than he’ll leave this place for good!

With a loud scream Jason came too, letting go of Alex in the process and with the death grip around his hips gone he immediately fell to the ground, his legs were shaking too bad to hold him. God, Jason had been extremely violent this time, he still felt the echoed thrusts against his ass vibrating through his whole body. Jason’s laughter felt like poison in his ears… Trying to stand up Alex was lifted with ease by the man, his chin held in place while Jason’s other hand wandered down, caressing one of his butt cheeks with something you could almost declare as affectionate. If one did not witness the happening before of course. But in the twisted mind of that blonde handsome man he may be feeling something that could be labeled as “affectionate”. It wasn’t the normal one, of course, but nothing regarding this being was exactly that “normal” to begin with...

“I’ve got to report back, but I’ll promise ya, I’ll be back soon.”

And with this he almost threw Alex inside the cage again. Waving mischievously with the cage’s keys he locked the mechanism again, leaving his guests alone again.

Alex found himself almost wishing for Jason to return again, just so he wouldn’t have to deal with the ape now -who was still watching him awkwardly… Alex really wasn’t ready for that stage of his plan so far. But it would get better. Or at least he would be able to leave it behind after everything. Hopefully...

Smiling coldly he arranged his clothes properly again and shoved the small hairpins out of his pockets. He went to the lock. It hurt moving, but he managed it. Sighing he decided that silence was worse than talking right now -and that was coming from him... Well, at least while being occupied with the lock, he would not have to look at the ape while talking.

 “Uh, so far everything’s exactly as planned. Jason’s now...uh, satisfied, he’ll take a few couple of hours rest now for sure. He always does so. -But still, we’ll only have a kind of small window for everything, so I need to know… Will you be able to walk?”

 Okay, now he had to look at Blue Eyes to be sure. And his...thing with Jason was now hopefully declared as something not worth discussing...

The ape still had some strange glimpse in his eyes, but he managed to nod slightly.

 “Yes.”

 He immediately tried to get up a bit more, sitting in a better position to talk to him. It caused him visibly much pain, but he managed good. Alex smiled a bit after that.

 “Good. If everything goes right, this will be over with until midnight.”

 “...Midnight?”

 “Uh, yeah. They got you yesterday around noon, I guess.”

 The highly irritated face made Alex look away again.

 “I know. It always feels like eternity...”

 “...Always?”

 Alex shrugged, ignoring the ape’s attempts to catch his eyes again, faking to be extremely concentrated on the lock.

“I got captured twice by thefts, one time by some bandits of some sort and the other time by uh, well, not sure what they were. My highest bet is that they were on drugs or something, desperate to get some more. My father negotiated with them and I got free after maybe 3 hours, 4 at top. But being held in a small dark closet does strange things to you. I had been a 100% sure that they got me out of it after a couple of days…”

 “And...the other times?”

 “Uh, those thefts just wanted to barter, their supplies were gone and they had little children. They handed me over for some medicine and food. No biggie. I got hit through for calling one of them a stupid idiot though…", Alex coughed a bit, he'd never talked about things like that, it was strange, "Well, and the other time had been...pretty bad... I was gone for 5 days, almost 6 I guess.”

Alex closed his eyes in agony, Emma was so vivid in his mind right now it was hard to not start crying like a fool, as if that would change anything. The lock chose the right moment to pop open with a silent noise, shoving everything in his mind effectively aside. With a smile Alex slid the gate open as silently as possible, already trying to figure out how the chains on Blue Eyes worked. Oh my... Of course it had to be a lock he did not know. He'll need the key.

 “Ugh… We have two options right now and I am not fond of any of them. Option one: I’ll sneak around and get myself some weapons, because I’m sure we can shoot your chains open. The iron chains around your wrists will have to wait then I guess, but we’ll find a way to remove them. Of course us shooting you free will cause much attention for sure.”

 Sighing he massaged his temple.

 “Well and option two: I’ll get a weapon nevertheless and try to find Jason and get the keys. Hopefully I won’t be in need of shooting, otherwise we’ll have the same fucking situation of being caught too soon… I don’t have any other ideas, enlighten me if you’ve any...”

 Blue Eyes considered that a moment, but eventually looked at him again with a defeated expression.

 “...No.”

 "So...”, Alex awkwardly stretched himself, ignoring the stinging pain in his butt, “Uh, you’re the one I want to get out of here. You choose.”

Blue Eyes frowned. He didn’t like either one of them. But of course without any other idea how to flee this building, he had to choose the one he felt more comfortable with. And the second situation sounded awfully dangerous for the boy. Blue Eyes still had a hard time with what he’d witnessed just moments ago. And here the human was, acting like...like that wasn’t a big deal. At all. It disturbed him to no end…

He sighed silently. There really wasn’t any way of coming to a decision, he wouldn’t allow the boy to get near that monster again. Not if he could do something about it. He felt bad enough already. If the boy hadn’t come for him this… this awful happening probably would not have occurred…

 “...The first one.”

 Alex exhaled, then nodded eagerly, maybe a bit too glad. But he really was relieved that he wouldn’t have to try to get the keys. Jason wore everything important directly on his body, and to be honest he had no idea how to get them.

 “Okay. Good. Option one it is… Uh, I’ll better start right now. ...See ya.”

Blue Eyes watched the human boy silently leaving this cold room, the door still squeaking while being moved. Immediately his heart was thumping in his chest like running through the forest on full speed, but eventually nothing happened, no sound of moving men.

 Shivering Blue Eyes closed his eyes to concentrate himself more on his hearing. Hopefully the boy wouldn’t get caught again…


	7. Chapter 7

Alex was sure he’d been cautious and achieved his task fast enough, without any disturbances, but of course that could’ve only meant for things going wrong somewhere along the way… And that feeling was proven to be true. One of the soldiers was approaching the slightly open door, which held the ape behind it. He would alarm everyone well before he even got to shoot the ape free and they could attempt to flee.

He knew why he hated violence and why he’d been keen on never using it. But his need now was a dire one and somewhere along the way he may have lost his principles anyway. He had been able to live like that just because of his father after all, allowing him to stay that delusive. Now that time was over and to be honest he regretted being like that in the first place, for if he had been more willing before to actually _do_ _something_ to help them all to survive, maybe everything would’ve been different. But for now there was no turning back. The past was not his to change, he had to life with the consequences of his choices as well as the many he’d missed.

Sighing silently he pressed himself onto the wall, eager not to be heard before being near enough to strike. The soldier opened the door with caution, slowly and thus very creaky -Alex used that noise to stalk close enough with his knife ready to take his opponent apart. He hadn’t been one to participate in any fights before, but he was no idiot, he had gained knowledge about the human body, it’s strengths as well as it’s weaknesses, from Ellie after all. This has to mean something. Hopefully it would be enough...

Thinking that he shoved the blade fast and with all his might right into the bare neck of the man, knowing that he has cut straight through the bone, it’s maddening sound making his stomach twist. Blood splashed out of the wound even more so as he fell together with the falling body, while trying to maintain hold of the blade. After getting up again, disgusted by falling on the man to begin with, he eventually managed to get it out, but it was a messy retrieve.

Staring at the motionless man he tried to get himself together. That was the first he’d killed with the full intention of doing so. It felt wrong and he had a hard time ignoring those voices inside his head that asked him treacherous questions about a possible daughter now left alone or a widow waiting for her husband that would never come home again...

He had to focus on the task at hand. And that was freeing the ape with the two guns he maintained from their storage. A pistol and a rifle. Blue Eyes watched him while Alex leveled the pistol and shot at the iron chains holding the ape in the air. With a muffled thud the ape fell to his knees. Alex hurried to shot his legs free, too. The ape had a hard time pulling himself together to stand up, but the teenager was wary to assist him with that. He was unsure if his help would be appreciated or if it would prove to be something laughable for a mere human could most certainly not provide that much of assistance anyway. Apes were heavy muscled beings.

“Uh, I hope you can handle a rifle?”

Alex gave him said rifle but the way the ape held it and immediately checked for it’s munition with a trained grip was answer enough. He knew it well enough. Movement just a level above them made them hurry. Blue Eyes grabbed the rifle the dead human still held onto, shrugging to Alex.

“Insurance for us… He will not need it anymore.”

The human boy just looked away, eager to get going -which was a wise decision given their current situation. Blue Eyes followed him as fast as he could muster with his leg throbbing in pain. He did not voice his concerns, but even his wound from the bear had not troubled him that much... While they walked silently through the barely lit maze of strange tunnels humans happened to dug into their ugly grayish houses he couldn’t stop but wonder about the human boy. Never would he have guessed him to be something as skilled. The boy barely talked, had followed his father silently around all the time and just didn’t seem to have own opinions, all in all really not that interesting or mentionable. The first time Blue Eyes watched the boy for longer than a second had been when Cornelius had decided to jump onto him. And even then he’d thought of the human as something annoying, definitely nothing his little brother should be interested about. But here that inconsiderable boy was, guiding him through this human-made hellhole from shadow to shadow like he’d never done anything else before.

The boy stopped abruptly and Blue Eyes bumped right into him, which hurt him more than the soft-skinned human for sure. His painful hiss caught the attention of the soldier the boy supposedly had tried to avoid. With a quick glance Blue Eyes eyed Alex and stepped into the light clear as day, gaining the full attention of the soldier. He used the element of surprise and punched him straight into the face, knocking him out in the process. If given the chance humans really were pretty weak beings. If it weren’t for their treacherous weaponry.

Offering Alex a hand, well, in fact he just grabbed the scrawny wrist without wasting time, he shoved him to his feet. It seemed to have puzzled the boy somehow but he focused at the task at hand fast enough, continuing their journey. The moment Blue Eyes smelled fresh air he hesitated. They had to be close to the exit now.

“Won’t they suspect us go there?”

Alex held his finger up to his lips with something like a mischievous smile. Blue Eyes frowned, almost ready to voice his concern again -but was interrupted by the ground shaking violently after several loud explosions. He heard muffled screams somewhere in the distance right after that. Disturbed Blue Eyes listened for more, not quite grasping what has happened -until the boy’s hand grabbed his arm now.

“We need to take our leave _now_.”

Blue Eyes followed him again and to his surprise they really were able to sneak past the humans, they were too occupied with running further inside, carrying water around. The dust dimming their sight and the pained screams of their human co-workers supposedly being trapped somewhere did the rest. But Blue Eyes couldn’t care less. Besides he was too occupied with his freedom, almost couldn’t quite believe their luck as they finally got outside again. They were greeted with a cold breeze that was very much welcomed. He longed for feeling the trees around him once more, secured by big branches and thick bushes all around.

They walked in silence for quite a while and despite his exhaustion Blue Eyes forced his legs to function. He wasn’t keen on staying in the human town any longer than necessary and to his satisfaction the human boy seemed eager to leave this place just as much. But with the danger gone, at least for the time being, he couldn’t stop the exhaustion to creep in every last bone he possessed. The sharp pain got more vivid now, too, with every step it itched and burned like fire. Almost unbearable and most definitely not something he could ignore anymore.

Worried Alex watched the ape losing steadily more of his fast pace, until the weight on his arm got more and more heavier, he mostly dragged the ape along now. They had to find a good place to rest and fast! Blue Eyes already lost his footing every now and then, if he would fall to the ground Alex won’t be able to lift him to safety. That trail of thought hadn’t ended entirely before he lost his grip around the ape’s arm and his heavy companion fell to the ground head first.

Checking his pulse Alex let out a relieved breath. It was a steady one. That was at least something... With a groan he scanned the area for some big enough tree chunks to maybe be able to drag the ape to some safe place. They had waled for at least two hours, of course it felt like much more, but the sun was just about to rise, so they could not have been that long on their way. As much as he would’ve liked that.

Sighing he begun his work. He took fresh bandages, something to disinfect wounds and even a small package of painkillers out (which were also blessed with the function to be antipyretic as well as anti-inflammatory) of the small first-aid kit which he managed to steal from Jason's storage. That would hopefully help Blue Eyes to fight the ongoing infection.

He needed a bit time to put something together that was steady enough to work for his purpose. Shoving the construction under the ape was hard enough, but to pull him over after that so that he would be on his back to be carried more properly without straining the wounds was one big obstacle to begin with. And pulling him through the forest even with his petty construction was ardous as hell.

The moment he found a small hill capable enough for him to see in all directions at least a bit, he pulled the ape just a bit further using all his remaining strength to get him behind the hill into some safely hidden hole -originated out of one of those big trees being almost completely ripped out of the ground. The big hole was kind of protected by one enormous chunk with many branches. Perfect to hide the ape properly.

After laying him down and feeling like a sweaty mess he started to walk back, hiding his tracks and trying to lead several wrong ones. He was not good in tracking, or fighting, or anything really. But hiding from something or someone? That was something like his specialty for sure!

Exhausted he went back after that, eager to finally clean the wounds of the mistreatment the ape had endured. Sighing he examined the wound on the leg, the worst one so far. Because of him losing consciousness and falling to the ground like that he’d messed it up pretty bad. Now there were all kinds of things inside, mostly mud and some leaves. With his small water bottle he flushed most of it out. Disinfecting the wound was the next step. Cleaning it entirely and removing any bad fluids that accumulated already the step after that. And then he just had to wrap it up good enough that it would hold through the night.

The other cuts and bruises looked bad too, some more than others. But mostly he was sure that they would heal on their own well enough. He felt compelled to wrap up one wound on his shoulder and two cuts on his arms, too, but he tried to use as few of the bandages as possible. The leg may need more of those. The substance would most likely work its way through the layers of fabric pretty fast. At least measuring it from a human perspective, maybe apes healing processes were more effective.

After the flu and everything the apes were the average species but Alex still hoped that this would not irrevocably mean that they would suppress those weaker than them. He still hoped that the apes were capable to be more than that. His father had been so sure, there was no way Alex would allow himself to dismiss that dream. He would cling to it and thus feel like a part of Malcolm was still alive.

Yawning he decided to get some sleep now. He may need to sneak back into the city and search for some more bandages or something he could use as such eventually. But that would have to wait. Right now he felt like collapsing if he even tried as much as taking a piss now. He really had no strength left.

 

 

The first thing Blue Eyes could process was his hearing. He heard birds singing somewhere afar, wind blowing through trees, a soft whistling he always thought felt like the forest was singing. He felt soft earth beneath him, could smell the moisture in the air, it had rained not that long ago. Smiling slightly he opened his eyes carefully, the light was a bit too bright at first and he needed strangely long to be able to see properly again.

Blinking he understood that it was already after noon. That explained his sluggish condition in general of course, sleeping so long. But he felt well rested, really thirsty but rested. Curious he looked down on himself. The wound on his leg was bandaged, two small spots on his arms as well as his shoulder. With care he tried using his leg, stretching it out hurt a bit but for the most part it seemed pretty good maybe he could-

" _Don't you dare_ trying to stand up already!"

Blinking in utter confusion and maybe also reacting a bit indignantly to this paternalism he crossed his arms. But the second his eyes focused on the boy those feelings were replaced by shame. Said one was kneeling at a small stream completely naked, his clothes hanging up in the tree where the sun reached them, still dripping wet. Blue Eyes mind urged him to avert his eyes politely, but as a matter of fact he couldn't. He'd never seen a human naked before. The boy seemed so fragile without all those clothes. Fragile, skinny and...kinda soft?

The boy turned around again with burning cheeks and gulped, his muscles were extremely tense as Blue Eyes could see very well for the boy was maybe mere 16 feet away. Blue Eyes positioned himself to a more comfortable sitting position, leaning on one of the big roots of the fallen tree to support him. That went well, maybe he could already try to reach that branch over there and try to lift himself up to-

-"I know we may differ from size, muscular structures and many more bodily functions, but I highly recommend that even for an ape it should not be okay to walk around after the first time being awake from a severe infection!"

The confusion was back again.

"What do you mean? Infection?"

Alex was completing to wash himself with a piece of cloth, water was dripping down his arms and down his spine and while the ape's eyes followed those water drops he recognized for the first time the monstrously big scar that almost filled the back completely. Frowning Blue Eyes had a hard time accepting what he saw for something real. Somehow he had a hard time accepting  in general that the humans had suffered many years before their two colonies had met. It was so easy to fall back to his prejudices.

"Blue Eyes, you've been unconscious for 3 whole days and, man, believe me those days had been extremely long and weary."

Shocked the ape stared at the back of the human, and eventually this intense stare forced the boy to finally turn around a bit to meet his eyes. He crossed his legs fast enough for the ape not to see anything properly in one smooth motion. _Graceful_ was the first word that popped into Blue Eyes' mind, but he dismissed it immediately. Sighing the boy rubbed his eyes with a very tiresome expression.

"...At first I hadn't been sure if you would make it. Your fever just got worse and worse.", the boy avoided to look at him while talking but Blue Eyes was still able to see the troubled look. He wondered how it must have been for the human and he felt a little bit too vulnerable right now. Because his fur was well cared for, there wasn't a speck of dust or sweat on himself, he would've smelled it for sure. His skin felt clean and healthy. Gulping he watched his feet digging a bit into the dirt. Waiting if the boy would say anything more because he certainly did not know what to say right now.

"...You definitely owe me for all this, you know?"

Surprised Blue Eyes looked up again, meeting those big, challenging eyes of the human. Staring inside those he suddenly felt not so sure if addressing the human as a boy really was that accurate. He felt like he was exchanging a look with someone...equal. Someone that had experienced too much to reckon him as a mere child.

"I dragged you all the way here and I guarantee you that was anything but easy for me... -And as if that was not enough already, you just kept getting worse and Jason's soldiers were so close, I... I really wasn't sure we would make it..."

At the end he was almost whispering his eyes shimmering with liquid. Such an intense emotional response it...It somehow felt less alien to Blue Eyes. Humans really weren't that different from apes. They just weren't. Gulping again Blue Eyes fought to keep the eye contact.

"I... Sorry."

With a shuddering breath the boy draw his legs close and put his arms around them. Together with the small hairs on his arms standing up and his lips turning slightly blue by now Blue Eyes concluded that the human was cold. He knew what he would offer an ape to regain some warmth but...was that something appropriate for a human? Should he simply ask? Was he even alright with getting that close to someone that different?

Shuddering he felt a strong jolt of guilt. This human had done everything in his power to help him. He treated his wounds, washed him and...and _stayed_ even though he could've left. He would've been far away by now, sitting by a fire instead of being forced to freeze like that so that they may not be found... Hooting gently he raised his arm slowly, indicating him to come closer. Confusion washed over the human's face and Blue Eyes couldn't help but chuckle in amusement as soon as he saw the redness almost reaching that boys ears.

"Uh... I- I really don't need to- Well, I-I'm not sure that-"

Sighing he lunged forward and pulled the human over to him, maybe with a bit too much strength behind the motion, the boy bumped quite hard against his chest. Frowning Blue Eyes looked down to him.

"You are too thin."

The boy refused to look up, but at least he was wise enough to accept the offer now. He really needed to stay warm. It was midday and yet there was still some frost over some leaves and parts of the ground where the sun couldn't reach. In a few days it would definitely be even more cold. Winter was about to come. Hopefully the colony was alright... With a thoughtful expression he watched the wind making the leaves fly around, producing quite the beautiful dance of shadow and light on the ground.

Alex shivered as a cold gust of wind went over his body and without looking to him the ape tightened his grip around Alex' torso some more. Mortified he coiled himself up and after a while of just watching the happenings around them he found himself leaning against the warmth of the ape. But it really wasn't fair, why had he to be so cozy? With pink cheeks he closed his eyes for a moment, nausea was overwhelming him -now that he felt warm and kinda secure for the first time after so long. He hadn't slept much since their escape, always fearing for Jason to jump out of a bush. Besides whenever he closed his eyes even for a second he was back there, fucked from behind and in pain. So much pain. The humiliation he had endured was...too much even now. But somehow those pictures didn't force themselves to the surface again and he simply concentrated on the regular breath of the ape and the warmth radiating from him...

It took a while until Blue Eyes realized that the human was leaning with his full weight against him. Maybe because it wasn't that much to begin with, barely recognizable for someone being used to much different weights of others. He didn't dare to move, fearing that he would wake the boy immediately. And now, with the relaxed face up so close the dark shadows under the boy's eyes got his attention. Had his face always seemed so...sunken? Did the human even left his side to find something to eat? Probably not. But why? Surely not entirely out of worry? That would be insane... No one would be that agitated because of a stranger, right? Maybe he had been too scared to go on his own? That sounded more reasonable to him. After all he'd never saw the boy without his father before. Maybe he didn't even knew how to supply oneself?

No. He'd lived at war as a small child. There was no way he would've survived without some skills of his own. Sighing Blue Eyes slid over to the boy some more, wrapping his other arm around the slightly trembling body. That human had risked so much for him... With disgust those pictures of their time in the cells came to mind, the agony the boy had been in, the thrusting, his body being pressed against the bars... Blue Eyes shuddered. That was nothing he should think about that thoroughly, shouldn't he? But as a matter of fact something about this whole situation just stuck him and he wasn't able to ignore it. That face...Those sounds... Shivering again, and not at all because of the cold, he forced his eyes shut, burying his face in the fur of the human in the process -and thus unable to ignore the stimulating sensation it brought to him. The human's fur, no, his hair, was so extremely _soft_! Just like that of his baby brother mere weeks after his birth! Unbelievable! 

It was hard not running his fingers through said hair without a break. How could anyone be that tender? Really, there wasn't a place where this human wasn't kinda soft to the touch. At all. The boy's skin was not comparable to his own or those of other apes, he was entirely smooth like nothing Blue Eyes had ever experienced so far.

And now properly washed he had to reconsider his past statement of humans smelling bad.This one smelled like the first rain in the morning after waking up and seizing the day, clear and bright. In short: The human smelled _like home_.

And this conclusion was a frightening one indeed.


	8. Chapter 8

Blue Eyes’ entire morning was occupied with watching the human boy with growing curiosity. At first it had been really entertaining to see him waking up and thus watching up close how he needed some puzzled moments to understand the situation at hand, blinking all the while doing so.

But the best part after letting go of the human was his walk to the clothes in the tree. Blue Eyes had always made fun of those long and strangely straight legs of humans before but without the extra layers of fabric he couldn’t think of them as ugly anymore -though it most certainly originated only from him knowing now how smooth and comfortable this particular human's skin was -which made him wonder.

“Alex?”

The boy nearly tipped over but managed to somehow obtain his balance again and after pulling his trousers over his uncommonly round butt he turned around inquiring.

“What is it?”

“Have all humans legs like you?”

For a moment Alex stared at him.

“Uh...Fortunately most of them have two legs, yes.”

Blue Eyes tilted his head.

“That not what I meant. Are all...straight like you?”

Snorting with laughter Alex stared at him even more and supposedly because of Blue Eye’s lack of response in some way or another the boy seemed to be even more amused and for the first time they’ve met he was actually _laughing_. That joyous expression did strange things to Blue Eyes. Shivering he looked to the side for a moment, trying to find his composure again. That shiver all over his body originated clearly out of his...anticipation that the boy was not laughing with his teeth showing like all the other humans he’d met. He was simply surprised by this new attitude, nothing more. Clearly.

Somehow feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden Blue Eyes managed to focus again on his originate question that set all this into motion. And to his relief Alex seemed to remember again how to form words.

“Well… As it is, my legs are the only thing ‘straight’ on me so far.”, he giggled some more after that without Blue Eyes understanding what it was that was supposedly that funny but eventually he was just too relieved that his body finally started to act normal again, that quaky feeling almost gone. “But...the more serious answer to your question would be: there are many, many body shapes. Some are shorter, some more hairy, some fuller, some more bowed while others are more x-shaped. It depends. We are a species with so many individual variables you simply can’t determine how the ‘average human being’ has to look like exactly. Well, of course if you aren’t one for simple solutions.”

“Simple solutions?”

“Uh, what I meant with that is fanaticism mostly. It’s...a certain way of thinking with very strict standards and little to no tolerance for contrary ideas or opinions -it can go against everything. Fanatical people won’t allow anything else than their own measures and will judge others simply because they don’t like for example their skin color, their religion or their sexuality. ...In my opinion those people are too afraid to allow any doubt, they need this simplicity to be able to continue living. That way of life does not allow much room for hum- uh, _empathy_. ...And their wish for simplicity makes them clinging to their believes in adamantly refuse. Well, and in doing so they are often inclined to hurt others intentionally -and the worst part of that is that they feel like they are _allowed_ to do so out of their righteousness.”

Blue Eyes stared at Alex with disbelieve.

“You… I never heard you talk that much!", it was an understatement to say that he was pretty exited about that fact. They’ve rode together for some days back when he had to escort Malcolm, Ellie and Alex to a safe place and Alex hadn’t talked much, in fact he’d done so only at the very beginning, teasing him because of Lake and something he did wrong regarding her, but somehow he couldn’t quite remember what all that had been about. With a little frown Blue Eyes realized that it felt in general like it happened decades ago when in reality it’s just been a couple of months.

Alex shrugged a little uncomfortable. It was indeed some time ago for him to speak like that. In fact...He couldn’t even come up with the last time that had been. He’d always had a strong sense of morale and a straightforward opinion of those that did others harm though. But usually he kept it to himself.

“I’ve never been one to talk a lot, but I guess with...with my father and Ellie...gone, I need to be more than I was before? I dunno… Kind of surprised myself, to be honest.”

-”How-How have they died? You...did not tell.”

Alex stiffened immediately. His pained expression made the ape regret his straightforward question.

“...Well, my father tried to stop the Colonel from taking over the colony by talking lies about, you know, _you_. The Colonel said some pretty awful things and because of the events before, well...”

Blue Eyes nodded. “Because of that it was...easy to get others to believe him. I understand.”

Alex sighed.

“Well, yes. They were afraid and many were still mourning and thus very quick to get angry -well, that part you should know pretty well yourself.”, the human gifted Blue Eyes with a strange kind of smile and for a short second that particular shiver ran down Blue Eyes’ spine all over again, “My father tried to stop those lies from spreading, but the Colonel is a very dangerous man. A lunatic, but not a dumb one... Dad and Ellie tried some discreet ways of resisting this call to war, but at the great gathering my father made the error of opposing the Colonel head on. Normally he wouldn’t do such a thing but I guess he just couldn’t bear to listen to all this crap he’d talked about Caesar anymore, together with knowing how little of a difference he was achieving... He was frustrated and desperate. He wanted to help Caesar, he wanted so badly to find a way to stop that madness and, well, he got shot in the head for that, executed at a sunny day out in the open...”

Blue Eyes watched as Alex avoided looking anywhere near him. But he still had to ask.

“What of his...woman?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly how it happened. One second she was still standing next to me and the next she was over there losing her shit and attacking the soldiers.”, he paused for a moment, not meeting the ape’s eyes, “They killed her some time after...”

“Some time after?”

Alex exhaled, his lips a thin line.

“Six days, if you want it that precisely!”

Alex was regretting his harsh words immediately. He was eager to leave the topic be but as he saw that confused look on the face of the ape he sighed, somehow he couldn’t help but to feel a warmth he wasn’t ready to name yet. How could one be so innocent?

“You surely must know what some men like to do to woman? The Colonel left some soldiers with us that same day before leaving as you already know...and you’ve met Jason and some of the others by now, too”, Alex closed his eyes for a second in agony, “You know what...what he did to me. And...”, he gulped, it had been harder to say that out loud than he’d anticipated, “Well, don’t...don’t some of yours do harm to those they favored to act out their own, uh, _needs_?”

Blue Eyes blinked. He would’ve liked to declare that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but…

“Some of the females weren’t...fond of their mates at first, but...they always managed at the end.”

Alex scoffed.

“Sounds romantic...”

-“You humans do that, too -you said so yourself!”

Alex crossed his arms, clearly disgusted.

“Yes, _unfortunately!_ Doesn’t matter who does it, it is still _wrong_.”

Blue Eyes couldn’t decide what to think. Quite a bit puzzled by this display.

“But...but just because they didn’t like it at first doesn’t mean they won’t like it later on. -Didn’t you-”

His words got stuck in his mouth that somehow felt completely dry right now as if the air had sucked all liquid out of it in less than a second. Blue Eyes felt nauseated by his own words and that sentencing look full of disgust and...and _hurt_ from the boy was nothing he could handle. To make matters worse Alex said nothing, he just stood up firmly, marching into the forest with a consistent pace.

And before Blue Eyes could comprehend the exact extend of his wrongdoing the boy was gone. Of course he could track him down, but shame and a painfully tight knot of guilt hindered him. Maybe that hadn’t been the best kind of words towards the human. He had been clearly distressed by...the recent happenings.

Blue Eyes watched a little bug crawling some chunk opposite of him. Were his words really that bad? Hadn’t he been there all the while, a witness to the obvious visible display of releasing one’s needs? The bodily reaction of such a...reunion. A strange one, yes, but nevertheless there had been pleasure. Definitely. But why did he still felt so bad for voicing out something that was true? ...Because _it wasn’t_ , not entirely that is… He witnessed the pleasure, yes, but he also witnessed firsthand that horrified expression of Alex, the painful noises he did, the tears... Was that all out of fun? Of passion? Well, he...he relieved himself, that he did for sure. But...was such a thing really proof enough for being okay with the happening?

Somehow Blue Eyes felt entirely awful. How narrow-minded must he be to assume simply because of some bodily fluids that there had been some form of consent in the end! What happened with Alex and what Blue Eyes had compared it to weren’t the same things -even in the slightest! Well, yes, Ava hadn’t been fine with Theo’s advances, but her behavior had been some strange womanly way of making Theo want her even more. They always had circled around one another and she had simply messed around with him a bit, but she never had truly despised him or his advances. Her reserved behavior had been just show -maybe to see how far he’d be willing to go for her, he had no idea. Theo impressed her with his efforts, they united their bodies and spirits under the gaze of the moon at the hill not far from their old colony -they all had played there often together as children…

Remembering Theo telling him and Ash the story of his first mating with Ava made him grimace. He’d told them in ridiculously detail what they’d done, that he’d pierced her with his member and that he’d thought at first he’d killed her for how loud she’d screamed and because she’d bled so much, but that she’d been holding tight to him, not letting go and moved on her own, declaring him an idiot afterwards. After his exaggerated tale Ash and himself had mused about it, thought it was just Theo’s lively imagination, a tale how he would’ve liked his meeting with Ava to end. -Well, until they’ve both had been granted with the pleasure of listening firsthand to Theo’s and Ava’s intense mating one night… Those sounds still made him all flustered. He and Ash had stopped making fun of Theo after that revelation and by now both of them were official mates, sleeping together in their bedding and now, 2 years after all that, they had a very cute daughter.

His father had ensured him that Theo and Ava had started really early with becoming a family, that it was normal for Ash and him not to want that kind of...intimacy. Blue Eyes had been pretty disgusted by his father's more mature explanation what a male and female could do with one another, as well as Theo’s bravado for that matter. But Ash had taken a liking to such activities after all that, he knew. He had always known that Ash had liked Ava, too. That whole story with Theo probably hadn’t been easy for Ash...

Sorrow filled his heart. He missed his best friend so much! Ash would make this bad situation right now so much better! Well, he probably would’ve hit him for his stupid words and would urge him to follow Alex right away to try and apologize. ..And he would be right.

With a long exaggerated sigh Blue Eyes started to follow the trail the human has left. With worry he noticed that just a few feet further away the boy’s tracks were less careful, with more space between the slightly deeper footprints and more broken sticks. He must’ve started running the moment he’d been out of sight and earshot…

The trace got harder to track the further he went into the woods. And just as Blue Eyes was ready to give up, somehow starting to get really pissed to be forced to follow the human though the forest, he was suddenly pulled away. With a jumpy breath Blue Eyes was ready to defend himself, but as soon as he saw that particular pair of blueish eyes his tight appearance relaxed again. Apparently he found Alex -or the other way around? Huh, he doesn’t care. Important was that the human was alright.

With a finger to his mouth the boy looked at him with a stern face. Blinking Blue Eyes registered the unnatural redness around his eyes. He must’ve cried quite a bit. Even those white parts in his eyes were a bit red. His nose, too. Alex pointed to their left, where Blue Eyes saw some figures walking through the woods. He heard muffled talking now, too.

“...They came from over there, walked past me some time ago. They’re sufficiently far away by now, but they could still see you if you stand out there in the open, would be enough for only one of them to look back… -Uh, sorry for pulling you over here without a warning.”

Blue Eyes scratched his neck uncomfortably. He was too close to the boy, his wish to apologize was now shrinking. Fear was gnawing at his consciousness, making him feel too hot. He didn’t know what to do. And with the human watching him while being that close to one another...like he was expecting him to apologize, too… It was too much.

After a moment the human sighed, his eyes scanned their area.

“We should go back, your colony is probably already on their way. If you want to catch up.”

Blue Eyes was relieved that their communication was simply about business. Of course he wasn’t keen on following the others. But they had no chance of finding his father anyway. There was no use in trying to be some back up for them. ...With a grim face Blue Eyes reminded himself of the fact that he was not the best for open confrontations, for fighting a war, in the first place. He was a coward.

With a troubled mind he watched the human who was starting to go into the direction of their home -their old home. Normally the teen would look over to him, even if it was just a short glance. But nothing. He was intentionally trying to have as little contact with him as possible it seemed. And somehow that hurt.

Taking in a deep breath Blue Eyes went after him. The moment they would reach the colony the human could leave without feeling bad about it. If he was honest enough he had to admit that this was maybe for the best. He wasn’t that good as a friend anyway. Ash got killed before his very eyes and he’d done nothing to help. And now he couldn’t even manage to say out loud how bad he felt for what he’d said and that it had been stupid and _wrong_! Frustrated Blue Eyes closed the distance between them.

“It would be easier if you could use sign!”, he exclaimed breathless.

Alex glanced over with a frown.

“What exactly are you referring to?”

“ _Everything_.”

The human stopped and faced him with crossed arms before his torso. Somehow Blue Eyes felt like being lectured by his mother.

“Well, as a matter of fact, I can indeed understand sign language, not everything, but well enough.”

Blue Eyes stared at him with wide-open eyes.

“How come you know _so much_?”, he couldn’t stop his voice from sounding a little bit annoyed. His pitiful excuse for his overdue apology was now nothing more than empty words. To his surprise Alex really seemed to take pity on him, for he answered as if that had been more than a rhetorical question.

“Well, since my friends, neighbors, teachers and distant family all died one way or another through the war I hadn’t much to do besides reading... Whenever my father and I would come across some place with a bookshelf I took every book that was remotely interesting. If we hadn’t been always on the run I would’ve collected every last one of those and kept them safe.”

By now the human had a certain expression on his face: a longing for knowledge so intense, it was infectious. Besides every distraction from their last encounter was welcome.

“There lies a beauty in the written word nothing can compare to! I mean, they can last _a lifetime_ and are open for everyone willing to accept them. -Wouldn’t you find it interesting to read the thoughts of a genius that had lived hundreds and hundreds of years before you? All the adventures, the difficulties, a complete stranger manifested for the posterity? ...There is so much yet to learn, so much wisdom from those before us! ...Seriously, if there’s even a small chance of this war to finally come to an end and I happen to be still alive, I would love to travel all around places, visit new landscapes and hopefully be able to read many more books.”

Blue Eyes’ heart pounded in his chest, ready to explode. It was as if the human had spoken those words out of his own desire for adventures, for exploring. They had much more in common than he would’ve ever guessed even in his wildest dreams! He’d always had a certain wanderlust since being able to leave his mother’s secure arms! He had charged those crazy dreams with Ash while hunting fish or wandering through the forest, even though Ash had never truly shared his obsession with the unknown... But with Ash gone there was no one that knew of his longing. Besides he wouldn't be able to go no matter how much he would love to. The colony came first. He was after all his father's son.

Clearing his throat Alex hurried to continue their walk. He felt like he’d said way too much in such a short period of time and was now annoying Blue Eyes -even though he’d said some pretty shitty things before Alex still cared deeply what the ape was thinking of him... What was wrong with him? He’d never been that chatty before or _needy_ as a matter of fact.

-“Could you...teach me?”

Alex blinked a bit puzzled, cocking his head in confusion. Blue Eyes had to suppress a silly smile that was about to fight itself to the surface, thinking that this gesture was pretty adorable. That human...he was such a surprisingly _pleasant_ being -this thought filled his mind with those certain pictures again of the boy’s body pressed against the cage making sounds he’d never heard before -and with that Blue Eyes’ body was building up with such a heat he was almost sure he would melt the ground right beneath his feet.

He could no longer deny that this past event shook him to the core, that he was fascinated by it, even now he could feel that pulsing sensation of arousal. But… It was...not normal to think such things, was it? Especially because the boy hadn’t even liked it. There was no way of him wanting such a...such a thing ever again, especially with someone not even human… It was as Alex had said, the bodily functions of humans and apes really were different. Was a union even possible?

With shame he scratched his neck.

“I mean... Teach me to read?”

“Oh.” Alex smiled. “Y-Yeah, of course. Well, but I don’t really know if I’m that good at teaching stuff. I only have Maurice to compare to and we had not quite the amount of time together to be able to say if my babbling really is that helpful.”

“I’m sure you’ll be good.”

Smiling Alex straightened himself, glancing down on the wrapped up leg of the ape.

“...We'll see about that. -Uh, well,...I guess you can put weight on your leg again now?"

Blue Eyes agreed with a cautious smile.

“It is good.”

The boy nodded in approval.

“But don’t over-stress it. It is not well enough healed for anything more serious than a little walking.”

While the ape was pondering while walking, deep in thought, Alex tinkered with the radio again, like he did for the past 2 days while taking care of Blue Eyes. He was trying to tune in to the right transmission that hopefully would reveal the Colonel's orders via funk, it was entirely on the off chance, because after he stole the radio they definitely changed the frequencies. He stopped, the static was almost entirely gone now, which meant that he finally found something.

“Kzzz...talk...ing….-ullough”, Alex froze. Then he hurriedly tried to get the signal more stabilized, “-he’s killing them all…Zzzz...”, Alex got closer to the transmitter, he could barely hear what was said anymore, somehow the signal got weaker on it’s own, “-have to go to the border…all that can be disposed will… final meeting at 1800...have to”

“-Who is that?”, without thought Blue Eyes touched the human’s shoulder while asking and thus spooked the boy enough for him to jump forward and in the process Alex dropped the radio by accident. The sound was enough for him to know what just now happened. With folded hands he was cursing, looking up into the sky. After a deep breath Alex looked back at Blue Eyes and the ape had to admit that he was a tiny bit concerned by that hard look.

“You...”, the boy sighed, averted his eyes and checked the radio again with disappointment, “I-I’m not sure I’ll be able to get that frequency again…”

Blue Eyes had no idea why the boy was now so determined in pressing and turning those buttons. He watched in silence. That is until Alex simply leaned back at the tree and reestablished eye-contact.

“...It seems the radio won’t be of any use for us right now... Hm, I believe this message was sent from what’s left of the U.S Army, broadcasting from god-knows where.”

“But, the Colonel is from them, no?”

Alex sighed.

“He’s an AWOL.”

Blue Eyes opened his mouth to ask, but Alex continued already.

“That means ‘absent without leave’, which is the military acronym for deserting...at least temporary. I heard the soldiers talking about that.”

Blue Eyes still looked pretty confused.

“...Deserter?”

“Uh, a deserter is someone that abandoned his duty without the permission to do so. And it is considered temporary because one is only declared as being guilty until a trial has happened. But yeah, that were the ways of the old world, I guess. Now it’s ought to be a bit different.”

“And...why is the radio useless?”

“The odds of finding that frequency again are...not really high."

The concerned look the ape was making strangely forced Alex to smile.

"But how about we concentrate on getting you back to your colony?"

With a low hoot of agreement Blue Eyes pushed along, somehow worried about the fact that their walk back together wouldn't take that long -and he had no idea if Alex would leave right after reaching their goal...

Glancing sideways he furrowed his brows, not able to determine what he was feeling right now. The only thing he knew for sure was, that he was far from anticipating the farewell. 


	9. Chapter 9

The colony _was gone_. At first it had seemed that they went in a hurry, placing some false tracks for the humans to follow and using the trees for setting different paths. But Blue Eyes knew of course in which direction they only could go, he was the one who found their new home after all -well, together with Rocket of course, without him he wouldn’t have made it that far…

The ape heir scratched his itching bandages at his shoulder, somehow he felt at edge. They really should’ve planned everything better, they shouldn't have waited that long. If they would've left way earlier... But it was no use, he couldn’t undo their past mistakes. He wouldn’t fear for all of them like that if his father would've been with them. Because his father meant _safety_. He was wise and cautious, always seemed to know how to handle everything. And with Blue Eyes now knowing that Caesar had been raised by humans he saw him no longer as some annoyingly all-knowing being. Though sometimes he still felt like he could never compete.

His father’s legacy was weighing on him, casting a shadow that swallowed Blue Eyes entirely. But since they’ve been able to find common ground after the battle it was easier to life with this legacy. Now he could even start to picture himself leading their people -under his father’s guidance. He wasn’t too fond of the idea of leading the colony to be honest, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. A small voice inside him was questioning this though. In his sleep it provided him with enough ideas of what to do with his life except trying to succeed his father, to simply follow his example. But his future was already set way before he’d opened his eyes for the first time. He had no choice but to accept.

Meanwhile Alex was trying his best to decipher the tracks of the ape colony. Some were easy to see, some almost invisible. But for the most part he was simply following the ape in silence. The older one, at least if one compared their different growth the right way and not simply by counting their years, was better suited in leading their way. After all they were his people they tried to catch up with. Besides...the less Alex did the better. The teen already felt like he was way too deep into that ape versus human conflict and thus he could no longer be seen as one of his own. The majority of his people hated the apes, some out of false knowledge of what the term “simian flu” meant, some because they lost too much and couldn’t feel empathy for others anymore and some simply used all this shit to be able to finally get everything they wanted with little to no consequences. Rapists, bandits, robbers...all of them were thriving in this new world.

Alex frowned. What was his place in all of this? He knew he couldn’t live with other humans anymore, not those he’d lived with anyway. But with his believes he wouldn’t get far no matter which human colony he would get to, he was pretty sure of that. And staying put and looking the other way whenever such bullshit happened again? He wouldn’t stand it! Maybe that would end in a quick death. And maybe he would just end up living all on his own for the rest of his life.

Sighing he watched Blue Eyes examining footprints. There was no way of deceiving anyone for that long, the colony was way too big to hide their tracks properly. And there were too many wounded and old one’s with them, making them kinda slow. An easy target. Alex had warned them about moving -now after they’ve been found by the colonel’s people, but they’d decided to go nevertheless… He really didn’t want to assume the worst but he was prepared to. In all his life there hadn’t been even one situation which hadn’t gone south in some way or another.

With a gasp the ape froze to his spot and for a long, agonizing second he did nothing. Alex wasn’t even sure if Blue Eyes was still breathing. He hurried to get to him, but his ape friend was already on the move again, disappearing behind the densely wooded hill with a scream that chilled Alex to the bone. The teen closed his eyes and breathed in, trying his best not to freak out -for Blue Eyes’ sake... The ape was all blank now and silent. So very silent. And now that he, too, managed to climb that damned hill all the way up, he finally saw for himself what exactly shocked the ape. The ground before them was covered in bodies. There were countless apes lying there motionless, staining the earth with their already dried puddles of blood, trees speckled with the thick substance. It felt like walking straight into an abominable nightmare.

Alex watched as Blue Eyes fell to his knees before a pile of bodies. Despair so vividly displayed inside his big blue eyes it made the teen feel sick. Just every now and then the ape's shoulders would tremble accompanied by quiet sobs. It hurt to watch, but there wasn’t much the teen could do but looking back to his own suffering after Emma. What would’ve helped him back then? What has he been yearning for that time? Was there even something one could do to help? Maybe...well, it wasn’t much, but being reminded of the fact that one was not alone tends to be calming, at least a bit. Hopefully it was regarded appropriate by Blue Eyes... And so Alex decided to approach the other one. Slowly getting closer. His hands got damp, his every move was stiff, his breathing faster out of anxiety. Maybe Blue Eyes only wanted to mourn in silence, maybe some of those apes had been his friends… In the end Alex just stood there, too afraid to reach out.

 “I-... I am so sorry...”

 Both were staring bluntly at the pile of flesh. Blue Eyes blinked, a sudden determination to leave this place forced him onto his feet. He felt like the air was too thick, there was nothing left to breathe. He needed to go. And fast. Before he would lose the tiny rest of his composure that remained.

Alex was only mildly surprised about Blue Eyes’ fast departure. It was hard to just stand there and watch these remnants of such a brutal massacre even without knowing those people lying there. The day his school had been blown to pieces he had been running away from it, too. He hadn’t been able to comprehend much else beside the urge to keep moving. -Hopefully Blue Eyes wouldn’t run too far away and if so, that he would at least come back in the next couple of hours... Alex knew his place, he wouldn’t dare to follow the ape now. After all, Alex was a human -like those that were responsible for this slaughter. And the teen was not that sure that their friendly connection was strong enough for Blue Eyes to see anything more in him right now than just another scumbag. He certainly won’t blame him for it.

Sighing Alex stretched. He felt like a bad person for staying that calm while being surrounded by so many dead bodies. But, yeah… It was kinda normal to him. He grew up with all that after all, but...somehow he still should feel something, shouldn’t he? Well, besides of resignation there wasn’t much he could muster to recognize. Except that he was fed up with all this shit. People killing others, believing them superior… Always the same mistakes all over again.

He suppressed the urge to sigh yet again. He wasn’t keen on staying here, waiting for Blue Eyes to come back to this place, but trying to follow him was not an option. He would only run into trouble on the way, besides he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between all those traces of apes anyway -and thus leaving the only area the ape knew of where to find him again wouldn't be a particular wise decision right now. And looking back, the outcome of their last separation hadn’t been that promising. So he stayed. Not sure what to do. And while staring at the hallow eyes of one of the apes he couldn’t help but wonder why they were all lying there on the same spot, like a pile of trash. -Wait a second… Apes were really heavy...and there were many bodies still lying somewhere else, all scattered and thus he doubted that they were put there post mortem. Besides he knew the routine of the Colonel's soldiers, they never buried the apes or troubled themselves with putting them on one spot to burn the bodies or such. But if so... _why_ would those apes all jump there over one another?

Maybe he was a sick person for jumping to his feet and rummaging in that pile of limbs, but he couldn’t shake this suspicion... The need to get to the bottom of this -like, _literally_. It was disgusting and yet he felt lucky enough for the fact that they weren’t bleeding anymore. But therefore they all felt kinda wobbly and, ugh, some were already accumulating some fluids even worse than just blood. And _the smell_!

A weak almost not audible sound made him double his efforts. Alex shuddered as he reached the end of his odyssey. Gulping he tried to hold it back, but eventually he couldn’t help it -he vomited. At least he managed to turn around a bit so he wouldn’t defile those poor souls anymore... And luckily there wasn’t that much inside his body to begin with. He’d only ate a little bit of his mildly cooked bark and a handful of the few roots they collected on their way… With tears in his eyes he put himself together and finally approached the small being he managed to free from a heavy arm that was put all around it.

“...Hello there, little one.”

Carefully he caressed it’s cheek before he disentangled her from the fur of the ape that he believed to be it’s dead mother. While lifting he examined the poor thing with a frown. The baby was female and in a pretty bad shape. Alex gagged again. She smelled awful and her fur was crusty with a mixture of all the dried liquids, but he couldn’t stand putting her down again. Not while the small thing was now clinging at his jacket, pressing herself against him with all her strength -which wasn’t much. Alex decided to go back to the small river they’d trespassed about half an hour ago. Not only to help himself so he’ll be able to breathe again, but the baby seemed to have a wound on its stomach and he had to get it clean. Infections were really dangerous, especially for such small beings.

With that in mind he hurried to get there. Just a tiny bit worried to lose Blue Eyes in the process. Hopefully he would search for him. Or track him down if he would be that fast in returning -which wasn’t something Alex would bet his life upon. Blue Eyes would need a bit more time to process everything. Hopefully it would be enough to be back on time.

On their way Alex realized that she needed to feed. With his blood pressure rising and his heart thumping in his chest like crazy he took a deep breath. Pictures emerged of his ordeal with Jason. Right after fucking him raw without much caress beforehand that sociopath had loved to use all kinds of toys -and one of his favorite hobby for the last three month had been to use those cursed breast pumps on him. As a result of that obsession Alex had undergone some pretty difficult body modifications regarding his chest...* It was still an extremely touchy topic for him, one that made him feel even more distant with others than before. Alienated. He was defiled beyond hope. Broken, but still breathing. Still. Now it seemed to him that all this suffering maybe had happened for a reason.

Even though he anticipated the possibility of his abnormality to finally be of any use at all, he still feared for someone to witness it all. He feared of exposing himself, even now with Blue Eyes currently gone. Shame was burning inside him, but he gritted his teeth and got it over with. The air was cold on his bare upper body and eventually he decided that he simply had to cut his t-shirt a bit -with that the little one would be able to grab it's fabric while drinking. With him having no fur for her to grab this seemed to be the best option, regardless the sheer weight of humiliation he felt for cutting his nipples free. It wasn't like he had anyone to impress anyway...

The moment he was done and led her to his breast she began to suck. It was an odd feeling but to his relieve it felt entirely different than he feared it would. Not at all like Jason working on them with fascination. Her sucking at him hurt a bit, too, but her determination was simply her hunger and with that he could life. And at least now with being alone with her, he couldn't stop himself from being a bit proud of the fact that he could give her a real chance of surviving everything. It was rare and maybe seldom, a freak of nature, but it could save a precious life. And that was all that counted.

Smiling he put his jacket on again, leaving a small space at his neck open so she could still breathe under that thick layer of fabric. His fear that this would be too much for her was proven unnecessary, in fact she seemed to feel quite comfortable the way she snuggled herself into him even more... Now he could continue his small trek back to the river to get rid of the last and only thing that dampened this situation: her awful stench!

 

The moment Blue Eyes felt like he was far enough from all this mess he leaned heavily onto one of the trees that he must’ve climbed up somewhere along the way of his fast retreat. The tracks of the rest of his colony went further away from the original destination and somehow they were different now. He found several human footprints, too, heavy and with a complex pattern which all the soldiers had alike. With that it wasn’t hard to determine what had happened with his people. The question was why haven’t the humans killed them all? And where were they taking the survivors?

For one tiny moment he thought about just following the tracks right now, without turning back for the human boy, because every second could stand for a precious life but...his feet just wouldn’t move. It angered him. How was it that his consciousness seemed to have decided that a mere human boy shall not be left alone, even though the urgency of him reaching his people as fast as possible was vital?? What was one life compared to so many others?

Huffing his legs forced him to turn around and get back without his consent. He felt betrayed of his own body. And the mere thought of having to see all those corpses again… Shuddering he pressed on, wearing a grim expression. Just one foot over another. He could do it. Wasn’t that hard. Really. Just going forward. Nothing else mattered. He had quite the track to overcome and his leg was hurting as it is. He wouldn’t stand running any more.

With this his way back was way longer than anticipated. But he knew that Alex wouldn’t leave. The boy had watched over him and tended his wounds for _days_ , so he wouldn’t leave now. Of that the young ape was sure. He would like to say otherwise because it meant that they've already reached a point of trust that he wasn’t sure he wanted to admit. Human and ape. This was nothing that could go right, doomed from the very beginning... Even if Alex was different than the other humans, there were enough apes that would never let it go. Alex wouldn’t be safe with his colony. It was a sad thing to acknowledge, but it was true. He could wish for something different all day long, it wouldn’t change the fact that the boy would be better off with his own.

That thought wasn’t even finished and he already questioned it. He had this one human in mind, this Jason. He experienced first-hand what that cruel monster could do. And what Alex had told him so far wasn’t any more promising… The sad truth seemed to be that the boy was nowhere safe anymore. Might as well trying to life with apes. Probably. Well, as long as his father would support the boy, then, maybe, it could work... But for that being an option Blue Eyes needed to rescue their colony first. He could worry about everything then.

Flustered he realized that he should maybe talk with the teen first. -Here he was, already planning the human’s future, all the while his people were captured and taken away! Something really wasn’t right with him! How could a stupid human mean so much to him in such a short period of time? Ridiculous!

-“Blue Eyes? I’m over here...”

Turning to where the voice came from Blue Eyes blinked. Alex stood there, hidden in shadows that were cast by the now almost completely sunken sun. He was relieved to see the human unharmed and above all that he won’t have to revisit that awful place again. With a small and pretty exhausted smile he stood onto his good leg, the other one was pulsing so strongly by now it almost felt like it would explode any minute...

A small noise made him shiver.

“What-”, he blinked in confusion as he realized that the boy wasn’t alone. He was holding something underneath his clothes- Blue Eyes gulped in disbelieve, while Alex shyly met his eyes.

“Uh, I found her, under that pile of bodies… They seemed to have shielded the mother and her from the bullets, but...well.”

Blue Eyes got closer while the boy opened his jacket a bit. Now he could get a look of her head. With big, green eyes only halfway open he exhaled a breath he hadn't realized to hold. He didn’t know her. There were many women and many newborn in their colony. He couldn’t know them all that well. But he still felt like he should though. It didn’t feel that great not knowing this small ape by name or at least knowing it’s dead mother. He sighed. Having in mind that all of this wouldn’t really matter.

“Maybe it would have been best to leave her be… With the mother dead she’ll die. She’s too small to eat what we eat. And with winter coming...”

He shrugged. It wasn’t something said lightly, but sometimes being in leadership meant to decide about such unpleasant things. The last winter they’d lost two newborn to the cold. Their mothers had been too stubborn to allow another male to care for them… It had been two very sad incidents. But the other females had tried their best in reaching out to them.

“No way that happens!”

Blue Eyes sighed. It was stupid to think that the young one would survive. Such naivety... Somehow he would’ve never guessed Alex to be like that. With everything the human had told him he should know best that a small one without it’s mother was doomed to starve. Alex wasn't stupid, so why was he acting that strange? Blue Eyes frowned, which made the teen zip his jacket all the way back to his neck, averting his eyes nervously. 

“....Do not worry about her nutrition. I...I already figured out what to do.”

Now the human was all abashed and it wondered Blue Eyes to no end. What was that all about? He was dying to know, but somehow he couldn’t muster the courage to ask. Somehow the atmosphere right now felt way too intimate. And together with him knowing shit about human bodies and their...capacities he wouldn’t dare to question this. Almost as embarrassed as the human.

Blue Eyes had always felt completely helpless whenever his mother had talked about motherhood with the other females while he accompanied her as a small child. It had felt wrong to hear such things, foreign and...and kind of shameful. He knew of course there was nothing to be ashamed of and he wasn’t disgusted by the fact that the females' lower body parts would swell for some time during a month or of them feeding their young one’s with their breasts, but… How was Alex now fitting into this?

It confused him to no end. Alex was...a _male_ human, wasn’t he? Malcolm had declared him as his _son_ , he was sure of it. So how could the teen provide for the baby? Blue Eyes frowned. He was missing something, wasn’t he?

Or maybe Alex was just being unnecessarily foolish right now, thinking only with his heart instead of his head, but Blue Eyes would see soon enough if what the teen declared held any real meaning behind it. They would be together for their entire trek after all. It would be foolish to leave one’s side for such fatal things like shame. Of course the current happening, him running off like that, counted as such... It had been stupid, but...he just hadn't been able to force his body to stop. He still would prefer to have some time alone, there was still something inside of him, urging him to run, to leave everything hurtful behind.

Sighing he massaged his temple. His head hurt and his leg was a painful mess. There was no way he could walk all the way back again.

“I...Let’s leave.”

Blinking the boy stared at his leg. Something about the way his eyes set upon it made the ape shiver.

“What?”

Alex gulped.

“Uh, your leg is pretty swollen. I...I think we should stay right here. Let me- Let me take a look.”

Blue Eyes hesitated, but the teen was already taking one of his arms, urging him to lay down. Blinking tears away he realized that bending down like that was almost not possible without burning pain forcing it’s way through his leg all the way up to his head. Groaning he let himself fall onto his ass. Why was it hurting that severe only now? 

After he felt like it was safe to open his eyes again, already feeling kind of feverish, he acknowledged that yes, maybe the human was right. His leg was a bit...swollen. His skin itched as if it was holding itself barely together while something alien tried to rip it open from the inside.

“Your skin feels pretty tense. I...I suppose that trek you did overstrained your leg. You need to rest."

"No! The other's need help! I-"

"Yes, they need help. But you won't be able to help them if you choose to ignore this.", he gestured to the poor state of his injured leg. "If you don’t rest properly now, you could loose it.”

Alex sighed, readjusting the baby's position and supporting it with his arms, he had no idea how she had managed to fall asleep right in the middle of all this, but she did. Well, she was probably too exhausted now, that poor thing. Even drinking had been pretty taxing for her... Blinking Alex realized that the ape was kinda spacing out.

-“Hey, are you still with me?”

Blue Eyes blinked. Alex was waving with one of his hands in front of his head like some idiot. But he had to admit that those movements were kind of sluggish to his eyes.

“Yes… -What...What needs to be done?”

Now the human was gulping again and by now Blue Eyes knew that this meant nothing good.

“I need you to sleep a bit and...and meanwhile I'll try to get the swelling down.”

With a growl Blue Eyes tried to make himself comfortable, laying down for real this time. He was eager to get this done with or that was the impression he wanted to give. In fact he was compliant to that request... Sinking down further into the soft ground he allowed his exhaustion to overtake him. Feeling like a fool. How could he believe that he could be of any help for his people? He couldn't even stay awake for another minute. A strong future leader indeed....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Yes, that really can happen, ladies and gentlemen. Male humans can indeed produce sufficient milk, we're all more alike than it seems. If you don't believe me or are otherwise interested to learn more, feel free to look into that by simply asking google ;) And yes, even though sometimes it's not the milk of the right species, it can still be enough to survive for babies. My neighbor had a dog that adopted kittens and they turned out just fine. And even if you can't imagine such a thing, I'll point out that this here still is a fictional world, so please take it easy. -Well, nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the ride so far~


End file.
